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Jack drabble "symmetry"

100 words. PG. No spoilers.



The human body mirrors itself: Two eyes, ears, arms, legs. What isn’t doubled is centered: Nose, mouth, navel, cock. To the eye, we are symmetrical, nerves and bones branching out, myriad, from our spines.

But symmetry is an illusion. We are, secretly, uneven. Our hearts are off center. We favor one hand. One eye is a fraction smaller. Hair curls stubbornly to one side.

He has chosen the strange letters that mark his left bicep, the flames that trail down his inner arm, bold, asymmetric designs that, oddly, balance him.

He cannot rewrite who he is, except on his skin.

I think I rewrote the second-to-last sentence 10 times!

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
astra2104
Apr. 10th, 2007 09:36 pm (UTC)
This is damn near perfect.
We are, secretly, uneven. Our hearts are off center.

I think I want that first sentence as a header in my user info, lol

halfdutch
Apr. 10th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you, love! :) I worked on this one a lot because it was a simple idea but very hard to nail down.
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Apr. 10th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :)
siluria
Apr. 10th, 2007 10:09 pm (UTC)
Well, if it took 10 times to write that line it doesn't show - great job and a wonderful description.
halfdutch
Apr. 10th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :) I kept shifting slightly what I wanted to say there, and just what Jack's tattoos meant to him. I had the essential idea but sometimes you realize you're not quite saying the way you'd like. But I'm happy with the way it turned out, finally!
alemyrddin
Apr. 10th, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
But symmetry is an illusion. We are, secretly, uneven.
Such a simple thing to notice, and yet so powerful, because it applies to every human being. I'm loving that entire paragraph.

And then, the Jack-specific part.
bold, asymmetric designs that, oddly, balance him.
Wonderful. That's for sure one of the reasons that pushed him into getting tattooed.

And now I'm going to bed because it's quite late... I'm turning into a real LJ addict!
halfdutch
Apr. 10th, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you! That's what "symmetry" suggested to me, that we are made that way but not quite perfectly, and then, by accident or plan, we end up being altered so the disparity is increased even more. And don't laugh but being asymmetric is one of the reasons I've never gotten tattooed myself, LOL. (Although, of course, it's possibe to get one dead center somewhere.)

And yes, LJ is very addictive! I'm a hopeless case myself! :D
cmonkatiekatie
Apr. 11th, 2007 01:08 am (UTC)
You could be forced to get them on each side and always have to have an even number of them to achieve some sort of balance. Not that I, like, know or anything...
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)
Ha! :) V. true!
hendercats
Apr. 10th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
*applause* Wonderful! And if that bit took ten rewrites, it was worth every effort, because the final sentence would not have the excellent impact it does without that set up. Great work.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)
Thank you! :) I'm so glad to hear it worked as that's exactly what I was trying to do!
isis2015
Apr. 11th, 2007 12:54 am (UTC)
This is really, really wonderful. And the last line is perfect.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:52 am (UTC)
Thank you, hon! ;)
cmonkatiekatie
Apr. 11th, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
This is...it's perfect. I love it so much. Especially the little details of phrasing, saying we are "secretly" uneven is fantastic and carries far more weight than just plain old uneven. Or how you travel down with what is centered landing on cock. LOVE!
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:52 am (UTC)
Oh wow, thanks so much, hon! *beams* And yeah, since it was a Jack POV, I had to go there. ;)
foxxcub
Apr. 11th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
Ooo. *pets fic*

And 10 times, really? You shouldn't give yourself away, LOL.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:51 am (UTC)
Uhhh, thanks? LOL.
foxxcub
Apr. 13th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC)
I mean you make it look easy, silly! ;)
eponine119
Apr. 11th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
This is awesome. It's such a different way of looking at things, yet so simple that it really blows me away. I love the last line.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:49 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you! It is kind of a simple idea but I'm glad it's more than that too. And thank you! I reworked this a few times but I always kept that last line. :)
inthekeyofd
Apr. 11th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
You wrote Symmetry fic.

You wrote Symmetry fic perfectly.

Should I be surprised by anything that you write anymore??

Oh this really is well done, I love how you started with the symmetry and then ended how we really do have parts of ourselves that are symmetrical..and how he needs those tattoos to "fix" it.

Love it..and again, are we surprised by that? *hugs and smiles!*
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:45 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you, hon! :) Somehow, this all came together to be about his tattoos, partly because I've always thought if you get them, then unless they're centered, you end up being asymmetric and that kind of bothered me, heh! But we really aren't anyway, so... why not?
demonqueen666
Apr. 11th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC)
Woah. Dude. Jack and anatomy musings. I kind of want to marry this fic for being able to dig so deep in so few words.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! I liked this idea and I'm glad I was able to get it across! Doing these drabbles has been challenging but fun.
uhzoomzip
Apr. 12th, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
this is fantastic! really insightful and lyrical - and tattoos!

He cannot rewrite who he is, except on his skin.

awesome.
halfdutch
Apr. 13th, 2007 06:41 am (UTC)
Thank you! Always happy when a drabble comes together. :)
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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