?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

"Wish" drabble

Title: Never
Summary: Sayid makes a wish for Shannon
Notes: Not a true drabble (157 words) but written for the lostsquee drabble prompt "Wish," and also for the lostfichallenge prompt, "In Loving Memory."




Here, at her grave, wishes are useless.

He could wish the bullet had missed her, wish that a ghost hadn’t sent her running through the jungle to her death.

The wind starts her necklace swaying against the makeshift cross. The sound is unnervingly like a hand tapping at the wood.

He shifts in the dirt, dismisses the idea. No, it is much more like a clock, rhythmic, relentless.

There is one pivotal moment where this could have all been prevented. If the plane had never crashed ... if she’d never been on it.

Yes. She never gets on the plane. He never meets her. She and Boone are sitting somewhere safe, watching the news of the terrible plane crash, thanking their lucky stars.

The wind dies. The necklace falls still, as if spent.

He lets himself think, just for a moment, that his wish has been granted. She is not here, in this grave. She was never here.

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Jun. 27th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you! :)
eponine119
Jun. 27th, 2007 05:22 am (UTC)
Nice. It works well with the wishing idea, and I like how here wishes have become entwined with regret. I think that works very well for Sayid, who he is and who he's become.
halfdutch
Jun. 27th, 2007 05:31 am (UTC)
Thank you. He is very much a man of sorrow and regret but I also think he's too practical to really let himself think "what if" and he was just indulging himself for a moment here. Glad you liked this.
isis2015
Jun. 27th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC)
Wow. ;_; That was really beautiful.
halfdutch
Jun. 27th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much, hon. I was definitely in a melancholy mood when I wrote this. ♥
cmonkatiekatie
Jun. 27th, 2007 05:53 am (UTC)
Oh that is sad. And romantic. That he cares so much he'd give up knowing her for her to be safe. Sayid is such a hero and this is so quietly amazing.
halfdutch
Jun. 27th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
Ahh, well you know I'm all about the melancholia! And it is such a sadly romantic idea, that he'd undo everything they had together, if that was the only way she could still be alive. (I suppose anyone might do it for someone they loved, but it is still a noble gesture, and so absolutely something Sayid would do, if he could.) Thank you, hon.
hendercats
Jun. 27th, 2007 11:22 am (UTC)
As you say, longer than strict drabble criteria, but excellent drabble form in that you've put much into so few words and wrapped it up with a very powerful ending. Maybe it's because his indulgence in what if is only momentary, but it gave me chills, it did!
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
Aww, chills! Thank you, hon. ♥
gottalovev
Jun. 27th, 2007 01:14 pm (UTC)
a wish that keeps her safe, but safe from it all... that is a great idea. oh, sayid. we feel for him so much in this. it is beautiful.
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you. It's such a simple idea, really, but a sad one. I'm so glad to hear you liked it.
bachlava
Jun. 27th, 2007 01:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow. Brilliant. And I never quite bought canon!Sayid/Shannon, either.

Yes. She never gets on the plane. He never meets her. She and Boone are sitting somewhere safe, watching the news... He lets himself think, just for a moment, that his wish has been granted. She is not here, in this grave. She was never here.

That really is exactly how Sayid would conceptualize his wishes, isn't it? He's a big believer, at least in his current life, in protecting people first of all. If the fallout from that is something that's less than amenable to his own wishes - well, he'll just have to deal with that, won't he? (See: "Through the Looking-Glass.")

The sound is unnervingly like a hand tapping at the wood... No, it is much more like a clock, rhythmic, relentless.

Such a perfectly creepy first impression of it, especially given the circumstances of Shannon's death. But it's definitely in Sayid's nature to liken it, ultimately, to one of the "mechanical things" with which he's so good.

Many, many thanks for sharing.
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:17 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I liked the idea of Sayid/Shannon more than what we got most of the time, because the relationship did kind of sideline them both from more interesting things. But her last episode and of course Sayid mourning her, I found so moving. Everyone has their sorrows on the island but we don't often get to see Sayid acknowledge that he misses her. (Heck, sometimes we don't get to see him much at all!)

I'm glad you liked this. I like to think he'd give up ever having known her to have kept her safe. And the necklace ... that started off as just a visual to set the scene and then, as often happens, it became much more central to the story as I started considering the eerie sound it would make and the associations that would bring up. Thank you so much for the lovely fb. :)
uhzoomzip
Jun. 27th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
clicking 'give into the angst' has never been more appropriate! love this, sweetie. love the idea that sayid would rather she never have gotten on the plane (and thus, they never meet) so that she would still be alive. that's kind of the ultimate sacrifice, isn't it?

and this line is chilling:
The sound is unnervingly like a hand tapping at the wood.

great job!
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:19 pm (UTC)
clicking 'give into the angst' has never been more appropriate!

Awww. *Apologizes for the angst*

It is a sacrifice on his part, but one I think he'd definitely be willing to make. All he has of her now is a memory anyway, so I can definitely see him trading off his time with her if she could still be alive somewhere, never having known him. (And, of course, that would also save Boone's life!)

Glad you liked this. :)
themoononastick
Jun. 27th, 2007 02:42 pm (UTC)
Oh! Achy-hurty-good. Poor Sayid *pets him*
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC)
Yes, our poor Sayid! You could argue he's lost more than anyone on the island. *is quietly sad for him*
amazingly_me
Jun. 27th, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
o-o-oh. ;__;

poor Sayid. I love him so much. It just isn't fair, is it? This is a beautiful drabble though. Sayid sets aside his grief often I think, to continue functioning on the Island, but every once in a while I remember how terrible he must sometimes feel.

Well. That was an uplifting comment. ;]

Beautiful drabble-type-thing. :]
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
It isn't fair at all. *sighs*

Sayid sets aside his grief often I think, to continue functioning on the Island, but every once in a while I remember how terrible he must sometimes feel.

So true. We don't see him grieving much but you know he must be hurting. Oddly enough, I think that's the aspect of Sayid I've written the most, not that I've written him very much, but his sorrow over Shannon is something I find very moving.

And thank you for the comment and the lovely fb. :)
slybrunette
Jun. 27th, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful, but sad. Kind of heartbreaking with him wishing that she had never been on the plane, and he had never met her, just to keep her safe.
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It is heartbreaking, that he'd give up having known her to have her still be alive. Ahhh, poor Sayid!
lil_orli
Jun. 27th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC)
That was so beautiful that to save her he would give up ever knowing her so tragic it made me cry really moving
halfdutch
Jun. 28th, 2007 05:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, I made you cry! *hugs*

Thank you! I'm touched that this moved you so much. ♥
philomel
Jun. 30th, 2007 04:47 am (UTC)
The wind starts her necklace swaying against the makeshift cross. The sound is unnervingly like a hand tapping at the wood.

Loved that.

Brilliant.
halfdutch
Jun. 30th, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, love! ♥
demonqueen666
Jul. 5th, 2007 03:40 am (UTC)
Sniff. I really did like that pairing, you know...
halfdutch
Jul. 11th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC)
I still miss Shannon and I know Sayid does too... *sniffs with you*
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

Batman/Superman by me
halfdutch
halfdutch

Latest Month

July 2016
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow