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Make Love, Not War (Jack/Sawyer) NC-17

Title: Make Love, Not War
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Rating: NC-17
Note: Written for cmonkatiekatie, who wanted Jack and Sawyer being marched off to dentention by the rest of the camp a la the original Parent Trap, but "instead of discovering that they're twin sisters, they discover they like naked touching!"





Jack pounded against the metal door until the flat of his hands ached, but he was damned if he was going to stop.

“Pound away, Doc,” Sawyer said in that annoyingly smug tone he had whenever pointing out how big a fool Jack was being at the moment. “They threw us in this here gun room on purpose, ‘member?” He was leaning up against the far wall -- not that far, really, when the whole room was maybe 8 feet by 6, at best -- looking just as lazily unconcerned as he did day in and day out, napping on the beach.

”Yes, I remember,” Jack snapped. “It was 10 minutes ago!”

They -- pretty much the whole damn camp, led by an extremely irate Hurley and Sayid -- had hustled Jack and Sawyer inside the hatch after the latest in their series of escalating counterpranks had gone horribly wrong.

The camp police had thrown them into the arsenal, none too gently, and locked the door. Sayid issued a dire threat that the two of them had better sort out all this nonsense and make peace or they could rot in here. “You can shout all you like,” Sayid had said menacingly through the door. “No one will be here to hear you.”

Jack pressed his forehead to the door. He wasn’t admitting defeat, he was just taking a rest, sizing up the situation. “I was hoping they’d come to their senses by now,” he muttered.

“Now, see, that’s just what they’re hopin’ we’re doin’ in here,” Sawyer said. “Pretty extreme timeout, if you ask me. I mean, sure we turned the camp upside down. They’re probably still gettin’ the syrup ‘n’ flour out of their hair,” he chuckled. “I thought Sayid was gonna explode, he was so mad. But is it my fault that he ‘n’ Hurley wandered into the trap I set for you?”

Jack’s head throbbed, a sure sign that another Sawyer-induced migraine was coming on. Without having to turn and look at him, he could see Sawyer’s cocky grin, just from memory alone. He turned to jab an accusing finger at Sawyer. “Not your fault?! This is all your fault,” he shouted. “You started this! And you didn’t know when to stop!”

“Damn straight, I started it,” Sawyer laughed, still entirely too amused by the situation for Jack’s liking. “’Cuz you ain’t got a lick of fun in that whole body of yours. Never met anyone who had no sense of humor before.”

“So cutting off the back off my jeans while I slept was ... for my own good?” Jack laid on the sarcasm thick enough for even a dumb hick like Sawyer to pick up on it.

Sawyer was too busy laughing and waving his hands to answer him for a good minute or two. “Yeah, definite improvement there,” he finally croaked out between giggles as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Yeah, Doc, those are the tightest tightie-whities I’ve ever seen. No wonder you’re so fuckin’ cranky all the time! The boys ain’t gettin’ no oxygen!’

“Well, at least I wear underwear,” Jack harrumphed. “It’s not my fault that you choose not to.”

”Oh, come on, Doc, you knew full well I got nothin’ on under my jeans,” Sawyer said, cocking an eyebrow suggestively. “Everyone knows that!”

“I didn’t,” Jack insisted firmly. “But I guess I should have. You’re always strutting around half-naked, showing off. Why don’t you ever put a shirt on?”

“I do!” Sawyer pulled at the collar of the plaid, button-up shirt he was currently wearing. “What the fuck do you call this?”

”Okay, you only strut around half-naked, most of the time.” Jack rolled his eyes. “About 90 percent, I’d say,” he added under his breath.

“It’s hot!” Sawyer protested. “You wanna go around fully dressed and get all sweaty and disgusting, be my guest.”

“Please,” Jack sniffed. “You just want everyone to see what a great body you have.”

“Why thank you for noticing, Jack,” Sawyer smiled, ducking his head in a pretense of modesty. “Guess you thought even more of it should be on display. Didn’t figure you for an ass man, myself.”

”Oh for ...” Jack threw up his hands. “I only cut up your jeans because you cut mine up first! I have no desire to see you naked!”

“Oh no?” Sawyer’s hands went to his belt. “Cuz you just say the word and ...” He leered at Jack. He was enjoying this whole thing far too much. The madder Jack got, the more Sawyer seemed to find him endlessly amusing and Jack had had enough.

“Just stop it. What are you, 12?”

“Why, you like ‘em young?” Sawyer’s leer, if anything, intensified.

”NO!” Jack stalked across the small space and slammed Sawyer up against the wall. “Now, you listen to me, James Ford.”

Sawyer started at the sound of his real name.

“Oh yes, I know your name,” Jack continued, getting a dark thrill from the fact that he had caught Sawyer by surprise, that he was maybe scaring him a little. He grabbed Sawyer by the collar and shook him, just enough to prove he meant business. “And I am calling you on all your bullshit, James. You think just because you’ve got those blue eyes and a killer smile and a body like that, you can get away with everything? You’ve been getting away with murder your whole life, haven’t you, just because no one can think straight when they look at you?!”

He wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he was expecting, but he thought he’d get something. Instead, Sawyer just stared at him in confusion.

Finally, a self-satisfied smile spread over Sawyer’s face. “Y’know, I think there was a compliment in there somewhere.”

Jack snorted. “Come on, don’t play cute. You know you’re ridiculously good looking. You’ve been working it since day one.”

“Have I? Didn’t realize,” Sawyer answered smoothly, blue eyes alight with wicked thoughts. “At least ... didn’t realize you thought I was tryin’ to work you.”

“Am... not...” Jack said between gritted teeth. He knew, on some vague, unimportant level, that his reply didn’t make any sense, because in the space of the last few seconds, Sawyer had worked a leg between his and was rubbing up against him and all the blood had left his brain.

He just clung, like an idiot, to Sawyer’s collar as if he’d been frozen like that. He really should have been stopping Sawyer’s hands from roaming up under his T-shirt, should have been pushing Sawyer away instead of leaning into him. But instead, he just pulled Sawyer closer to him by the collar that was ridiculously clutched in each fist.

Sawyer’s breath was inhumanly hot on Jack’s cheek in the eternity it took for his lips to meet Jack’s. He felt it all over when Sawyer’s tongue slid inside his mouth, a shock that went from his toes to the tips of his hair, but mostly a jolt delivered to his cock, now pressed, hard and aching, against Sawyer’s own hardness.

Sawyer tasted like maple syrup and he probably did too but, fuck if suddenly maple syrup wasn’t the sexiest thing on earth.

Sawyer licked his lips when their mouths parted, like he was trying to tell Jack’s taste apart from the cloying sweetness of the syrup. “Yeah,” he murmured softly in Jack’s ear, his fingers trailing over Jack’s ear in a familiar way that sent a delicious shiver through Jack. “Knew there was somethin’ there, behind all the crap you were throwin’ my way. You were just pullin’ my ponytail, weren’t ya, Doc?”

“Huh?” That was a far too complicated train of thought for Jack, who had at last managed to make his fingers move and was busy tugging each button free on Sawyer’s shirt.

“Damn clothes,” Sawyer laughed. “Why’d I pick today of all days to wear a shirt?”

“Anyone ever tell you ... you talk too much?” Jack had started to reprimand him, but now Sawyer’s tongue was in his ear and his hands were on Jack’s zipper and he didn’t care anymore if Sawyer recited the Gettysburg Address, as long as he didn’t stop touching him.

Still, when Sawyer, after a brief struggle with Jack’s underwear, muttered, “Fuck. Thank God for Y-fronts,” and just eased Jack’s cock out through the slit, he had to admit it wasn’t exactly the kind of dirty talk he’d secretly been hoping for.

But then Sawyer sank to his knees and -- Jack blushed to think it so -- took a second to admire Jack’s cock before wrapping those gorgeous lips around it and Jack’s mind went blank again. He braced his hands against the wall, thrusting without asking, unable to stop from fucking Sawyer’s mouth. He was met with a greedy, low-throated groan that vibrated to his core and Sawyer’s hands gripped his ass, one finger vainly trying to poke through Jack’s much-maligned underwear.

Sawyer -- with a look from under those long lashes that would have made Jack drop his pants on the spot if they weren't already around his ankles -- eased Jack’s cock out of his mouth for one moment and carefully inserted his right index finger instead, slowly swirling it around, until Jack thought he would die if that mouth wasn’t wrapped around his dick in the next five seconds. Sawyer flashed that sly grin that always drove Jack crazy, only now he was driving him crazy with need. At last, Sawyer slipped his saliva-slick finger under the band of Jack’s Hanes, sliding it down the crack of Jack’s ass until he could push up and inside him.

Jack had to focus on just breathing and standing, two things that were increasingly impossible, as Sawyer’s mouth claimed him once again. He was inside Sawyer and Sawyer was inside him and if felt so fucking right that he couldn’t believe it hadn’t happened until now. All this shit... all these crazy stunts... so much tension between them...

“Ahhhh. Fuck!” Jack exclaimed, his legs starting to shake. He was losing all control and the panic of that realization was what brought him, shaking and gasping, over the edge.

It was far too late to be thinking about whether Sayid had been serious about leaving them alone to ponder the gravity of their misdeeds, not when he was sending the loudest, most needy-sounding moan of his life echoing around the tiny room. He came, hot and helpless as Sawyer swallowed him down. He thought he’d never seen anything more beautiful than his come on Sawyer’s luscious lips, until Sawyer’s tongue flicked out to taste the last drop and Jack knew he was a goner.

He sank to his knees, his limbs too loose and liquid to stand. He ran his hands possessively through Sawyer’s hair, wondering why he’d had them pressed against the wall this whole time instead of here, in this silky blonde mass, where they belonged.

“Liked that?” Sawyer murmured, brushing the back of his hand over Jack’s cheek, and Jack could only nod vigorously and worry that he wasn’t playing it cool enough with the goofy grin he could feel stretching his cheeks. He leaned back against the wall, warm from the glow of sex and the anticipation of just how he was going to make Sawyer come.

“You are really overdressed, you know that?” Jack tsked, realizing he’d never gotten farther than unbuttoning Sawyer’s shirt. Sawyer grinned and shrugged it off and then Jack pointed impatiently at his jeans. “Come on, we’ve only got a few hours until they come back, probably.”

”A few hours? Why, Doc, whatever will we do in all that time?” Sawyer batted his eyelashes outrageously as he tugged his boots and jeans off, revealing that today, like all days, he went proudly underwear-free.

“You’ll see,” Jack grinned. “Turn around.”

Sawyer’s eyebrows shot up. “I knew it. I knew that’s why you wanted my backside naked to the world!”

“Now, you know you started the whole assless pants thing,” Jack scolded him. “If you can’t handle the heat...”

”Fine,” Sawyer’s hands went up in defeat. “My ass is yours.”

“Duly noted. Your ass, mine. Now, turn around.” He leaned closer, nuzzling Sawyer’s ear as he whispered. “Want you sitting in my lap right now.”

Sawyer, puzzled but compliant, settled between Jack’s legs. He leaned back against Jack’s chest, eyes closed, as Jack began to run his hands over him, over his hardening nipples, glancing over those powerful arms, and finally, down to his legs. He let out a deep sigh, relaxing into Jack’s touch. Jack took his time, teasing Sawyer with light touches on his thighs, watching Sawyer’s abdomen quicken with each brush of his fingertips, feeling his own cock stir again as Sawyer’s swelled and quivered, eager for Jack to take him in hand.

Sawyer started to sigh impatiently, grinding his ass into Jack’s lap in a non-too-subtle cue for him to get with the program and get him off already. Finally, Jack moved his hand to Sawyer’s cock, feeling a thrill of ownership as it leapt to life just for him.

Sawyer let out a delicious moan of surrender, his head falling back against his shoulder, his hands digging into Jack’s thighs hard enough to bruise. Jack resisted the urge to kiss him, just yet. He wanted to watch each tremor ripple through Sawyer’s body, see the effect he was having on with him with each stroke. Sawyer was panting heavily now, sweat beginning to glisten on his chest and abdomen as Jack’s hand quickened. He waited until Sawyer’s breath reached just the right degree of raggedness before kissing him. Sawyer gasped into his mouth, his whole body shuddering and then stiffening as he shot hot spurts all over Jack’s hand.

“Whew,” he muttered weakly, when he had his voice back. “Don’t think that’s what they meant when they said they wanted us to make peace.”

Jack laughed so hard, his head hit the wall. “Ow!” he muttered, rubbing the sore spot.

Sawyer was laughing along with him, but he suddenly stopped. “Hey, should we make ‘em think we’ve been in here fightin’ this whole time?”’

“Well ...” Jack rubbed at his head with one hand, and his chin with the other. “I’m pretty sure you left bruises on my thighs, if that helps."

“Right. Obvious signs of a fight. Just like that hickey on your neck.” Sawyer grinned and shook his head. “Fuck ‘em. Who cares? Uptight folks who can’t take a joke.”

Jack dissolved into giggles. “I can’t get over ... Sayid, covered in syrup and flour! His eyebrows were pure white! Oh, man! I thought he was going to kill you!”

“Yeah, he might’ve, if you hadn’t tackled him and gotten him off me! You know, you wouldn’t’ve gotten all that sticky shit all over you if you’d left him alone.”

”He was kicking your ass!” Jack protested. “And uh ... I don’t really mind the sticky stuff.” His finger trailed over the cooling mess on Sawyer’s stomach.

Sawyer let out an amused snort. “If that counts as talkin’ dirty for you, then you need some serious coaching, babe.”

But Jack wasn’t really listening. He had finally processed something Sawyer had said earlier and begun to busy himself with Sawyer’s hair.

“Mmmm. That feels nice,” Sawyer said, lazily relaxing into Jack. After a few moments, though, he reached up to see just what Jack was doing with one patch of hair for so long. “What th... is that a braid?”

”Yep,” Jack grinned. “So I can pull your pigtail whenever I want.”

Sawyer shook his head at Jack, laughing despite himself. “You take everything I say that literally?”

“Maybe.”

”Okay, then. I let you braid my hair if .... IF, you lose the damn girly panties.”

Jack thought for a second. “Deal. Hey, where are you going?” Sawyer had gotten up and was trying the door again, giving Jack a lovely display of that perfect ass of his as he bent over. “It’s locked, remember?”

Sawyer turned to give Jack his most withering glance. “Ain’t a door I can’t pick.”

“You mean this whole time you could have gotten us out of here ... and you just...”

Sawyer grinned, wickedly pleased with himself. “Now don’t tell me you’re complainin’.”

“No,” Jack grumbled. “But you might have said something earlier!”

“You didn’t ask, didja? Now, how ‘bout we go see if there’s some Dharma chocolate syrup in the kitchen. And then, I think a long, soapy shower is in order.”

Jack couldn’t say yes fast enough.

Comments

( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
eponine119
Jul. 1st, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love it. All their fighting banter leading to some hot sex. I think only you could take a Parent Trap prompt, of all things, and make it both humorous and incredibly steamy. I like the ending, too -- both Sawyer claiming he could have gotten them out of there, and the promise of more with the chocolate syrup.
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
I think only you could take a Parent Trap prompt, of all things, and make it both humorous and incredibly steamy.

Awww, thank you! :) It was such a fun prompt and it almost wrote itself, which you just have to go with! Glad you approved of the ending too!
zelda_zee
Jul. 1st, 2007 07:42 pm (UTC)
Oh man, this is great! It's like J/S porn used to be, you know? Snarky and hot, and all that tension coming to fruition, yay! This is totally sexy and gorgeous and fun and awesome! Yay for porn! :D
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:34 am (UTC)
Yay! Thanks so much, hon! I miss this dynamic like crazy too. And awww, yay for porn that writes itself. *mwah*
siluria
Jul. 1st, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
Oh yummy... now I have some fantastic images involving Jack, Sawyer and chocolate syrup... 'scuse me while I go daydream... *sigh*
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:34 am (UTC)
Mmmm, glad to provide such happy daydreams!
speedcat93
Jul. 1st, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Humm, Jack & Sawyer locked together in the same room, hot!! can I get detention too? please? no, just kidding (well, kinda...)
So hot, loved it very much. Thanks for sharing ♥
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:39 am (UTC)
Awww, they've been very, bad. Have you been very, very bad too? :)

Glad you liked it, babe!
inthekeyofd
Jul. 1st, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
Great banter and hotness..can it get any better? really, it just can't.

I am so glad you took up the gauntlet, I was going to, but I think that for everyone, it's a much better deal that you did.

Mine they had helpers, there was Team the cool kids, Jack with a help from Sayid vs. Sawyer and Hurley, Team the outsiders.
Believe me it was much funnier than it sounds. ;)

EXCELLENT, as always you rock my socks!!!
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:41 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks babe! I wasn't going to write this but then it kind of started writing itself in my head.

And your version sounds awesome and very funny, LOL. I guess I was more interested in getting straight to the snark and the sex! Glad you liked the way this one turned out! (I totally put in the braid & ponytail comment for you!) ♥

elise_509
Jul. 1st, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
It's like a flashback to S2 J/S...armory porn! Yay! That was such fun. I'm glad you tackled the prompt. :)
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:43 am (UTC)
Aww, woo, I guess it is a flashback to the fun, porny flirtiness of S2. (And ha, in S2, who knew we'd be looking back on it as a paradise of J/S interaction?) I'm glad I tackled this one too! Yay for cmonkatiekatie's Jack-n-Sawyer-obsessed mind!
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
*beams*

Sometimes the sex just writes itself and I totally went with it here. Hurrah! And mmm, I loved the idea of Jack stroking Sawyer like that. A very nice mental image indeed!

I was so upset that we never got Jack's reaction to finding Sawyer's real name on the show. :-/ By now he must know, right? I think it's been mentioned in front of him at least twice and we never got a single reaction, dammit!

Hee, I don't know if there's more to this little scenario but this was certainly fun to visit. I leave the chocolate syrup and shower to your imagination! (Hee, I've written so many shower fics ... I should probably stop!)
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gobsmackit
Jul. 2nd, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)
BRILLIANT FUN, WHEE! The Parent Trap scenario makes me happier than you know, and it's sexy, too. Bien fait!
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:49 am (UTC)
THANK YOU!!

I blame cmonkatiekatie! Porn + Disney films = good, yes? :)
deej240z
Jul. 2nd, 2007 01:54 am (UTC)
Woot! I liked this one. They are such snarky bastards to one another. Hee.

Favorite part: “Just stop it. What are you, 12?”
“Why, you like ‘em young?” Sawyer’s leer, if anything, intensified.

Lol!

I have a promp for your next extravaganza. Your mission, should you decide to take it, is a story based on this... *big evil grin*
Josh Holloway has vowed never to have a "back, sack and crack wax again"
LMFAO! Yes, it's a real story! But it's gotta be Sawyer/Jack, I don't do rps. ;)
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:52 am (UTC)
Woo! :) I love 'em angsty but I love 'em snarky even more! Glad you liked it!

And oh my, that is a pretty damn funny prompt but I can't think of an occasion when Sawyer would need to be waxed! Maybe in holycitygirl's model AU. :)
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cmonkatiekatie
Jul. 2nd, 2007 02:08 am (UTC)
“Am... not...”

Okay, so that response has to be my favorite ever, because this is like the 4th time I've read it and I erupt into fits of laughter every time.

I can't believe you took my silly little prompt and turned it into something so fun and hot and so them. And Sawyer calling Jack babe while he insults his dirty talk skills just tickles me. SO. HAPPY.

What's that you say? Stop gushing? I can't! I adore this almost as much as I adore you.

Seriously darlin, I owe you. Anything you want. Provided that what you want is, ya know, porn. :)
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 04:57 am (UTC)
Aww, yay! *dances*

This is all your fault, you know! *wags finger at you* And I'm pleased as punch you're so happy with the results, because that fills me with glee! This was so fun to write and hee, as I said, you've got the biggest case of JacknSawyeritis ever! And I love you for it!

And ooh, a blank check for porn from you? *bounces* I'd ask for more "Hard Boiled" but I know how hard it is to go pick back up with an abandoned fic so ... if you can give me something like the armchair not-quite-sex in that (but with actual sex!) I'd be ever so happy. Course, if you want to finish that, I wouldn't kick! ♥
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rawkin_ur_sox
Jul. 2nd, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm so late to commenting but I loved it; so hot and well-written, as always. I haven't read J/S in SUCH a long time so reading your fic again was just guh. This is making me want to pop in S2 and reminisce. ;)

halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:08 am (UTC)
You're not late at all -- you commented the day I posted! I'm the late one in getting back to my comments.

And thank you for this lovely fb! It was a lot of fun to revisit the old J/S snark and I'm honored it made you want to read them again!
keyweegirlie
Jul. 2nd, 2007 07:43 am (UTC)
Oh man I LOVED this so much, it's the kind of Lost fic that I've been missing lately. Thank you so much for writing and posting this.

I loved the snark and the tension and damn it just totally reminded me of season 2 and I love that. ;)

Fabulous job Sweetie.
*hugs*
-C-
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
Aww, yay! Thanks so much hon! It is drawing some old school J/S fans out of the woodwork. I guess we all just want to see them snarky and sexy sometimes, and of course, relive the good times in the hatch. *sheds silent tear for the bunk beds and shower*

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment! :)

kataren
Jul. 2nd, 2007 11:12 am (UTC)
Hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi. Guh.

^_________^
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)
*giggles*

That good? Aww, thanks, babe! *mwah*
uhzoomzip
Jul. 2nd, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
you wrote tightie whitey porn! i think that may be a j/s first! :-)

i love the idea of them as pranksters - and sayid with flour all over his eyebrows. :-)

“And uh ... I don’t really mind the sticky stuff.” His finger trailed over the cooling mess on Sawyer’s stomach.

Sawyer let out an amused snort. “If that counts as talkin’ dirty for you, then you need some serious coaching, babe.”


ha! this is too much fun. :-)
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:14 am (UTC)
Hee, I guess it might be a first, LOL! *waves tightie whities over head proudly*

And they would make terrific pranksters! :) There's so much downtime we never see.

Tee hee, Jack can use some dirty talk coaching! I prescribe a lot of one-on-one sessions with Sawyer!
alliecat8
Jul. 2nd, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
There was a time when I took great J/S fic for granted, but no more! I'm grateful for anybody who can make us remember why we love Jack and Sawyer, and you were one of the oringinal influences, so it's a real treat to see something new from you. I laughed like a loon at the idea of Sayid and Hurley putting Jack and Sawyer in time out; that's an awesome idea and it's something I think they could use in canon! And if it led to the same results as it did in this fic, then so much the better. Whew, I might be complaining about how hot the weather is, but hot fic like this only gets rave reviews from me. This even makes me miss the hatch. Great job, and thank you! :D
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:24 am (UTC)
Awww, you are too damn sweet! ♥ & hugs.

It's good to revisit all the snark and sass that was in such short supply in S3. Damn, even getting them in the same scene was rough! J/S fangirls have been deprived too long!

And Sayid and Hurley could so kick Jack and Sawyer's ass, LOL. And I miss the hatch too! No more bunk beds and the shower! Such a terrible loss! We didn't know how good we had it at the time. :)

crickets
Jul. 3rd, 2007 02:12 am (UTC)
This line is my favorite:
Sawyer tasted like maple syrup and he probably did too but, fuck if suddenly maple syrup wasn’t the sexiest thing on earth.

Hee!

Loved this SO much.
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
Hee. I blame cmonkatiekatie and her Parent Trap prompt for the maple syrup sneaking in there. And if Sawyer's wearing it, it must be sexy. Thank you. :)
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gottalovev
Jul. 3rd, 2007 02:27 am (UTC)
OMG, was so much fun!!! =D

wee!

love it, all of it! I am curious at the prank war too (what went on apart the cutting of jeans and sticky mess), and can imagine Sayid covered in syrup and flour, deciding that enough is enough! lol!

oh and I totally approve this use of maple syrup for a fic posted on canada day *nods*
halfdutch
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:27 am (UTC)
I decided to gloss over the prankish shenanigans and get straight to the snarkin' and sexin' ;) Hope you don't mind too much! But yeah, those boys were out of control!

Sayid covered in syrup and flour made me smile, so I'm glad it made you smile too!

And hee, I didn't even think of the Canada Day-maple syrup connection. O, Canada! :)
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:48 am (UTC)
Jack/Sawyer, it's good for what ails ya! Thanks, hon! :)
alemyrddin
Jul. 3rd, 2007 10:22 am (UTC)
You wouldn't believe it, but exactly two days ago on tv there was Parent Trap again (the Lindsey Lohan remake, unfortunately), and I watched it for the umpteenth time!
This was so funny, and hot! Sawyer made me laugh almost every time he spoke, but these lines in particular:
No wonder you’re so fuckin’ cranky all the time! The boys ain’t gettin’ no oxygen!
and
Y’know, I think there was a compliment in there somewhere.
lol!

Then it gets to the steamy part, which I loved in its entirety, but this:
Want you sitting in my lap right now... bossy!Jack but sweet at the same time is so hot!

and the braid!*giggles*

Very refreshing! :)
halfdutch
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:47 am (UTC)
Hee, I kinda like the Lindsay Lohan one more, mostly because I like the parents more (and am more invested in them getting back together) and because I love the manservant and the housekeeper getting together. Plus LiLo was cute back then!

Aww, glad you liked the snark! And the steaminess. And the bossiness! And the braiding, LOL. Thanks, hon. ♥
vixerunt
Jul. 3rd, 2007 05:32 pm (UTC)
I love AU's and future fic but nothing beats island porn for me! The banter was hysterical and the sex was incredibly hot (As always). Now if I could just get the Olsen twins version of the Parent Trap out of my head (It was on HBO or Starz the other day and I'm sad to say I watched it the entire way through). This is much, much better...

I mean, I'd take Jack and Sawyer over Kirstie Alley and Steve Guttenberg any day!
halfdutch
Jul. 4th, 2007 06:44 am (UTC)
Woo for island porn! ;) Thanks, hon. This one was a lot of fun to write!

And ha, I didn't know there was an Olsen twins version of Parent Trap! I'll have to remember to avoid that one!
hendercats
Jul. 5th, 2007 04:31 pm (UTC)
!!! How did I miss this?

Jack's head throbbed, a sure sign that another Sawyer-induced migraine was coming on.
*snort* Oh my, oh my - it just escalates from there, a giant, out of control snowball careening down the side of a mountain! Wheeee!
“Why, you like 'em young?” Sawyer's leer, if anything, intensified.
*howls with laughter*

Just marvelous! Amazing job of making this hot and hilarious at the same time - great fun!
halfdutch
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Aww, and I missed your comment until now, so we're even. ;) (Well, I was out of town!)

Glad you liked this one! It's fun to write some lighthearted stuff again.
haldoor
Jul. 10th, 2007 05:54 am (UTC)
Okay, I'm waaaay behind the eight ball these days, have been so far behind on the flist... just came here looking for the Bachelor (when do we get that final instalment?) and found this instead! I don't know the Parent Trap, but I do like what you've done with this! Locking the boys up and forcing them to sort it out! Perfect blend of hot and sexy with snarky amusement! Gorgeous! Thanks so much! Now, I may just have to find me some more porn...
halfdutch
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)
And ... I'm late in commenting, so we're even! :)

Man, I'm sorry the Bachelor fic is so delayed. I am having trouble writing serious sex with consequences, which is funny for a fic that started out so silly and crack-filled but that's where it's taken me. So I've been writing much lighter, one-shot porn and that seems to come easier. I hope to have more Bachelor soon! I just want to make sure it's up to snuff!

Anyway, glad you liked this one! Snarky and sexy is just what I was going for!
obreesprit
Jul. 11th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
This was so much fun! The hatch porn is great. The lines were all cute. It was quite an enjoyable read and I hope to see more from you soon-- you're so good at what you do, each story very original and entertaining. Thank you for all the writing!
halfdutch
Jul. 15th, 2007 03:52 am (UTC)
Oh thank you! You're so sweet! ♥ That makes me feel wonderful to hear this kind of fb!
( 52 comments — Leave a comment )

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