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Title: Super Sexed Studs in Heat!
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer/Sayid/Desmond
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Turned out the island made them into supermen in the sack.
Note: Very silly and very smutty -- and very short! -- crack!fic for haldoor, who requested "superheroes" and multiple pairings. Here you go!



“Dear Penthouse...”

That’s how Sawyer used to start those letters in his head, usually composing them while smoking a cigarette after some amazing sexual feat --- two or three women at once, or lasting for an hour, or coming four times in one night.

Hell, all that was nothing.

No one had realized when they’d landed here what this island would do to them. It wasn’t just the heat, which had all the men strutting around half naked, covered with a fine sheen of sweat, their clothes sticking to them suggestively.

Turned out the island made them into supermen in the sack. He could last for hours, and so, it turned out, could all the other men. Course, the women stayed the hell away, once they realized that their so-called super sperm could kill ‘em, but Sawyer was too busy pumping his daily quota of the stuff into Jack to care and he didn’t think that would kill Jack. Anyway, they were both willing to take the chance.

With The Others finally licked, there was nothin’ to do with an eternity in paradise but fuck, and that was fine with Sawyer. Readin’ was overrated. And when he and Jack simply couldn’t continue, when it seemed they had to face reality and take a breather, well, Sayid and Desmond were more than happy to step in.

Desmond would stroke Sawyer as they watched Sayid fuck Jack, nice and slow, hand pressed against the small of Jack’s back, making him moan and shake and beg for him to finish. And then Sawyer would take a turn, burying himself deep in Jack as Jack fucked Sayid’s mouth and Desmond ground into Sawyer with tongue or fingers or cock --- it didn’t matter as long as they all came in an overheated, sweaty heap of manflesh, broad, exhausted grins plastered on every face.

Yessir, it was an exhausting life, but a rewarding one. In his rare moments of rest -- cheek resting comfortably on Jack’s stomach or Sayid’s ass, or Desmond's pretty, pillowy hair -- Sawyer still composed those explicit, tell-all letters in his head. But he sure as hell couldn’t sent his extraordinarily filthy accounts of marathon guy-on-guy exploits to Penthouse. No, he didn’t really know who’d print them. If they ever -- God forbid! -- got back to the real world, he’d just have to start his own magazine. He already had a title in mind: Super Sexed Studs in Heat! It had a nice ring to it.

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Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
haldoor
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:38 am (UTC)
Oh, I adore it! It's absolutely spot on! I love me some crack and this really fits the bill! Oh, I just cracked up, babe, it's truly wonderful! thank you so much!!! *hugs*
halfdutch
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:03 am (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad you liked it, hon! The idea clicked into place and I just had to write it, LOL!
elise_509
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:11 am (UTC)
Oh yay! :) This is definitely how the island should be. Super Sexed Studs in Heat! all the time! this was awesome and silly and wonderful and hot. *loves*
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
Hee, I heartily agree, it SHOULD be like this all the time, LOL. Thanks and glad you liked it! The idea was too silly not to write!
inthekeyofd
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:34 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD! See, granted the 'super sperm' would have killed me on that island, but WHAT A FREAKIN' WAY TO GO.

Hot damn, they are MACHINES!!!!

*big sigh*
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
Ha, I think sometimes the show deals out more crack than we do... okay, no, maybe not, but still, it's all their fault! Super Sperm! LOL! :)
alemyrddin
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC)
lol! and, well.. a foursome??
I'm tempted to quote House I've moved past threesomes. I'm now into foursomes. If someone backs out, then you've still got a threesome. If two people back out, you're still having sex.
:D
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:38 am (UTC)
Bwaha! What a fabulous quote! Too bad I don't fancy anyone on the show if they're saying things like that all the time! :)
fosfomifira
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
So, uh, where can I buy this magazine? I'm just interested in the articles, I promise. I'm not at all interested on filthy descriptions of man-on-man island orgies or the extraordinarly explicit pictorials that should be included in this fantastic publication. Nope, not me.

This is smut crack fic at its finest. Love it!
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:39 am (UTC)
Tee hee! Yes, I think it would sell like hotcakes, LOL! :) So glad you liked this. It was a lot of fun to write!
zelda_zee
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
LOL! Too much fun! I love it!
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:39 am (UTC)
Tee hee! I think I like the title better than the fic itself but ahh, of course I had to write it once I came up with that! Glad you liked it!
siluria
Aug. 23rd, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
LMAO!! It's amazing what a slasher's imagination can do :) I'd love to read the tell-alls ;)
halfdutch
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:40 am (UTC)
Bwaha! I'd love to read the tell-alls ;)

Wouldn't we all? :) Thanks for reading!
green_grrl
Aug. 26th, 2007 06:35 pm (UTC)
Yessir, it was an exhausting life, but a rewarding one.

Aha ha ha ha ha!!! Sex-flavored crack -- the best kind!
halfdutch
Aug. 27th, 2007 05:24 am (UTC)
Hee, thank you so much! It is indeed pure crack! Also, love your icon! ;)
gemjam
Aug. 26th, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC)
Hehe, that's the best thing ever. Seriously. It's so totally Sawyer as well, the characterisation was spot on. I can totally imagine him composing those letters in his head, it just seems so him. And I love the idea that the island would do this to them, and that they'd all just adapt so happily to gay sex marathons. What a lovely image ;)
halfdutch
Aug. 27th, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
Bwaha, thank you! Ahh, Sawyer, the stud muffin, how I love him so! :) And isn't all of fandom based on the idea of gay sex marathons? LOL! Thanks for reading, hon!
gottalovev
Sep. 21st, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC)
LOL! that made me laugh so much! hee!

Yessir, it was an exhausting life, but a rewarding one.

so totally sawyer!
halfdutch
Sep. 26th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
Hee, thank you, m'dear! :) This was a fun one to write!
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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