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Crack!fic for foxxcub

Inspired by foxxcub's No Names crackfic



"Hey, Doc," said the dimpled con man, with a shake of his shaggy hair and an indecently suggestive smile.

"Hey, yourself," replied the incongruously tattooed surgeon, squinting enigmatically.

"You're not gonna start cryin' on me, are ya?" sighed the blond, tragically orphaned Southerner.

"No, I've just got something in my eye," answered the frequently prone-to-tears medical practitioner.

"Want me to help you get it out?" smirked the shirtless, slope-shouldered, Dharma-beer-swilling criminal.

"It's okay, I think I've got it," insisted the intense sometime jogger and occasional miracle-working man of science.

"Good, cuz I'd hate to think anything would get in the way of your appreciatin' my fine physique," the island's slightly suicidal answer to James Dean said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

The kite-flying afficianado with the buzzcut stared at the sexy criminal, desire evident in the depths of his doe-like brown eyes.

The ocean breeze ruffled the shoulder-length hair of the blue-eyed sex symbol with the tortured past, anticipating what the second-generation spinal surgeon wanted to be doing with his talented, med-school-trained hands just then.

The troubled, letter-writing killer of polar bears, frogs, and dastardly men who'd bedded and betrayed his mother took a step closer, enjoying how the overly emotional Los Angeles native trembled at his approach.

The golf-playing, giggle-prone Californian closed his eyes, waiting for the soft brush of the lips of the Bob Marley-crooning, ill-fated and oft-injured seafarer, the very same one he'd once given a gun after mistaking him for a lumberjack.

As the two kissed passionately, they were observed by the befreckled, petite, twentysomething, green-eyed brunette whom they'd once fought over. She sighed, realizing that the heroically inclined workaholic West Coaster and the charmingly nefarious, nicknaming Southerner were both out of her reach.

There was still a certain tanktop-wearing, curly-haired, reluctant torturer and quietly soulful, taciturn repairer of radios with an aversion to felines, however. She set off through the verdant, lush jungle, tinged with the morning's first light and the exotic sound of bird calls, to look for him.

Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
gottalovev
Sep. 12th, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!

yes!

my fave are definitely

the island's slightly suicidal answer to James Dean

letter-writing killer of polar bears, frogs, and dastardly men who'd bedded and betrayed his mother


and

the second-generation spinal surgeon

tee hee hee! thanks for the laugh!
halfdutch
Sep. 12th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)
Tee hee, my pleasure, LOL! ;)
astra2104
Sep. 12th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
*giggles*

golf-playing, giggle-prone Californian ? *cracks up again*

Well done indeed! i should show that to my students to illustrate the sometimes wacky use of synonyms ;)
halfdutch
Sep. 12th, 2007 06:54 pm (UTC)
Hee hee, thank you! I've actually read fics that get into "twentysomething brunette" descriptions, LOL.
foxxcub
Sep. 12th, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
Yes! I approve (in a totally ironic way, LOL).
The golf-playing, giggle-prone Californian closed his eyes, waiting for the soft brush of the lips of the Bob Marley-crooning, ill-fated and oft-injured seafarer, the very same one he'd once given a gun after mistaking him for a lumberjack.

♥!!!!
halfdutch
Sep. 12th, 2007 09:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Yes! I approve (in a totally ironic way, LOL).
Hee, glad you liked it babe! We've talked about this kind of thing many times, yes? LOL.
foxxcub
Sep. 12th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Yes! I approve (in a totally ironic way, LOL).
The blonde Southerner! Yes!
halfdutch
Sep. 12th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Yes! I approve (in a totally ironic way, LOL).
If I had a nickel for every time I've read that..! ;)
deej240z
Sep. 12th, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
The troubled, letter-writing killer of polar bears, frogs, and dastardly men

LOLZ! Brava!
halfdutch
Sep. 13th, 2007 01:10 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :)
zelda_zee
Sep. 13th, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
Hiatus be damned, that is fucking hilarious! ROFLMAO!!1!1!! OMG, girl, you rock so hard for writing this! It is made of awesome, as are you. :D

My tummy hurts from laughing.
halfdutch
Sep. 13th, 2007 04:04 pm (UTC)
Awww, hee, thanks, hon! :) All day yesterday I was thinking of even more silly ways to describe the boys! Happy to provide a laugh!
luna481516
Sep. 13th, 2007 01:51 pm (UTC)
Hilarious! This also deserves recognition:
quietly soulful, taciturn repairer of radios with an aversion to felines and my favorite Jack one I think is The golf-playing, giggle-prone Californian .
halfdutch
Sep. 13th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
Hee, thanks, hon! :) Glad you liked those bits! I had fun writing it!
haldoor
Sep. 14th, 2007 05:43 am (UTC)
Excellent work! HA! Brilliant use of as many descriptions as you could find there, chief! (still laughing)
halfdutch
Sep. 14th, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you, m'dear! :) 'Twas fun to write!
mistry89
Sep. 16th, 2007 07:37 am (UTC)
Despite squinting critically at this entry, you hit enough fanon and canon cliches to leave me gasping. With the thorough abuse of a considerable number of The Rules Of Good Writing, you leave me with little option but to ask (in light of the comma-frequency ... "What of the colon and parenthesis? Are these below your notice?"
Next time, please consider the above, I'm very partial to both.

:)
Fabulous!

mistry89
Sep. 16th, 2007 07:40 am (UTC)
And my flaky internet connection means I now have to go off seeking foxxcub's offering!
halfdutch
Sep. 19th, 2007 06:14 am (UTC)
Boo for flaky internet connections! I should maybe have specified that her fic is in an entirely different fandom! (One, I don't usually read myself, but since overuse of descriptives in place of names is one of my pet peeves, I had to indulge, and I wasn't sorry. ;D)
halfdutch
Sep. 19th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC)
Hee, thank you! ;) It's fun to tweak the rules of good writing and maybe make 'em cry a little! And ha, I should really look into more punctuation abuse. ("Such... as ... overusing... ellipsis...?" she said, dramatically. :D)

Thanks for the kind words, I just might commit bad!fic again, LOL.
mistry89
Sep. 23rd, 2007 07:07 am (UTC)
Punctuation abuse is the ultimate squick for most writers (and why I don't write). Ah, the run-on sentence, the parenthesis, the hyphen, the comma, the colon!
Leave the exclamation mark (or the bang, if you prefer), forsake the choppy short expletive - give me more :)
obreesprit
Sep. 28th, 2007 10:04 pm (UTC)
Wow. I don't think I've ever seen so many *different* descriptive words in a single place before! I loved the format of this-- it was quite interresting. I bet it was tiring to come up with new ways to name them every time. Brilliant though. Excellent. Thanks for sharing!
halfdutch
Nov. 5th, 2007 07:51 am (UTC)
Oops, I completely missed this comment until now! Hee, thanks and glad you liked it! :)
favoritedarknes
Jan. 9th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
OMG this was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh LOL
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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