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No Man's Land (Jack/Sawyer) R

Title: No Man's Land
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Spoilers: Set mid season 4
Rating: R
Note: Fic! Finally! And it's S4 J/S. I just had to find a way to get them together at last. Thank you to zelda_zee for the beta. And look, it fits the fanfic100 prompt "Middles."






You meet him like this, in the wild, like it was the first time. Neither of you says a word, you just reach for him and there he is. He tastes like toothpaste and cheap wine and you don't mind, as long as he's here for you to actually touch. Your fingers dig into his arms, hard, like that's the only thing keeping him here when you know it's not.

You've both long since lost count how many times you've come together, how many times you've fucked out here, in the jungle, in the dead of night, where no one else can hear you.

But this time you've been counting the days since you last saw him, since he walked right out of your life. You’ve counted the hours since you felt his mouth on your ear, whispering all the sinful things he's going to do to you. The way his voice rasps, low in his throat, is deeper than you remembered. It makes your mouth fall open and that's before his hands slide under the waistband of your jeans, down to cup your bare ass.

It feels like years and yet like yesterday. He knows your body so well, knows just how to get you hard. He knows a million ways to make you come and you wait, anxious for him to make good on his whispered promises. He drops to his knees, working your jeans down. When he looks up at you, his eyes bright under dark lashes, you wonder how you're going to let him walk away tonight, how you ever let him walk away.

And then he takes you in his mouth and there's nothing but the sweet sensation of his tongue and the firm touch of his hands and, like that, you're his again. As if there was ever any doubt.

You never used to make any noise during sex, not until Sawyer. Now you come with a shout, a rough cry of release that echoes through the trees. He smiles up at you, that lazy, crooked smile of satisfaction that makes you drop to your knees and take his head in your hands. If he keeps looking at you like that, you're going to go back there with him, you're going to give up everything and stay here on this fucking island. So you kiss him, hard, as if you can convince him with your mouth, your tongue, your whole body, to come with you.

Breathless, you lean your head on his shoulder. You sway together, sore knees protesting, demanding a new position. He cups your ass, wordlessly saying, "Stay."

You're not going to say it. It's all been said already. He wants to stay here, play house, pretend. One way or another, Sawyer is set on dying on this goddamn island. He tries to make you feel like some kind of coward for wanting to leave. You've called him as much for staying. You can still see the hurt in Sawyer's eyes at the word.

You know Sawyer will stay, while you will go. No matter how many times you meet halfway between the village and the beach, here, in this no man's land, nothing can change that, and you think you know why.

Back in the real world, this thing between you won't exist. You'll go your separate ways, or, at least, that's what you guess Sawyer has decided. That the second you get back, you'll wake up and realize you've been fucking a worthless liar and a criminal and now you can do so much better.

Sawyer won't let himself get left behind again. Which is why he's going to leave you, by staying here.

You draw back a little, enough to meet his gaze. But he's looking down at the ground. You rest your forehead against his. If he only knew... if you could only tell him...

There is a moment when you decide you're going to say it, you're going to lay it all out for him, how you want him in your life, always, here, there anywhere, it doesn't fucking matter.

But then he's pushing you back onto the ground and his body is so sweetly heavy on top of yours.

What you were going to say is lost in his kiss.

Comments

( 44 comments — Leave a comment )
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slybrunette
Mar. 20th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
I needed J/S like I need air! Seriously, there is a drought of dangerous proportions going on right now, thank you for breaking it.

Sawyer won't let himself get left behind again. Which is why he's going to leave you, by staying here.

That is so true. It fits with everything we know about Sawyer, about his tendencies, and it totally explains a lot about him.

Also, I love your use of second person here.

Love this!!!
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:21 am (UTC)
Ahh, thank you! I've missed J/S like crazy too. Darn canon!

I was getting stuck on this one and I figured I should try something a bit different, hence the second person. Glad you like it!
elise_509
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC)
S4 Jack/Sawyer fic! I looooooooove you. So much. So so much. You are a goddess.

And this was wonderful and sad and oh, the aching. Poor Jack, poor Sawyer. I would pick one part to highlight and be like, "oh, this rocked my world" but it all rocked my world. :) (and :( cause this was sad. but in a good way.)

*cannot hug you enough*
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
Awww! *wubs*

Thank you, hon! I've been missing these two even sharing a scene and I had to dream up a way to smoosh 'em back together. And since they seem likely to be parted yet again - but more permanently *sniff* -- I figured that was my cue.

*LOVES*
eponine119
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
This is fantastic. I love the urgency created by the present tense and second person storytelling.

Sawyer won't let himself get left behind again. Which is why he's going to leave you, by staying here.

That pretty much says it all.
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you! It's (I think) only the second time I've used second person but I was hitting a roadblock when I sat down to type "Jack..." or "Sawyer..." so I thought I'd sneak up on this one! Very glad it works for you.

And damn, those boys just won't let us write happy endings often, will they?
hopelessfangirl
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:19 am (UTC)
Guh. This is perfect. I'm going to count this as canon, a deleted scene from somewhere in one of the last few eps. ♥ *adds to memories*
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:25 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, hon! I've missed them being together -- this season is so good but simply the WORST for J/S interaction!
luna481516
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:52 am (UTC)
This was powerful. The second person left me wondering who was who for a little bit - got thrown off by the dark lashes :)
Everyone else got the thesis sentence so I'll pick another:
Your fingers dig into his arms, hard, like that's the only thing keeping him here when you know it's not. This sounds so true to them here too.
Very needed!
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
Oh, sorry! I wanted to try something a bit different here - didn't mean to confuse you. Except, I guess, both of them are thinking pretty much the same thing.

Very glad you liked it. I've missed writing J/S!

(no subject) - luna481516 - Mar. 20th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfdutch - Mar. 21st, 2008 09:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
holycitygirl
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC)
If he only knew... if you could only tell him...

Oh that hot, sweet, angst. Gets me every damn time. *smiles*
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:27 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much, hon. Angst seemed called for, with an impending separation (I assume) that's much more permanent. *clings to boys*
emiliglia
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)
I realized today it was strange how much I've been enjoying this season despite the complete lack of J/S interaction.

So thank you for this. It was hot and yummy and let's me pretend this is really going on in the background until TPTB have our boys reunite. ♥
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
Ha, little did we know, back in S2 and S3, when we were pining for some Jack/Sawyer action, how we'd look back on those seasons as a veritable wealth of J/S scenes! I'm loving this season too, for the most part, but my OTP has suffered shamefully.

I pray we get at least one good scene with the two of them before that helicopter takes off! One where Kate is conveniently absent (a la "Exodus.") We can dream, right?
elliotsmelliot
Mar. 20th, 2008 03:42 am (UTC)
Ouch, but in a good way. This was great. You really put me in the moment. This seems like a much more interesting reason for Sawyer to want to stay.

When he looks up at you, his eyes bright under dark lashes, you wonder how you're going to let him walk away tonight, how you ever let him walk away.

I really loved this sentence, especially the last part. How can he? I also liked the use of the term no man's land. I guess Sawyer thinks this won't exist off island, geographically or mentally.

And this season better not end without some Sawyer/Jack interaction!
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 04:06 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! This one hurt to write too -- I had in mind something a bit more lighthearted (and a first time fic), also set in S4 but this wanted to be written instead. Ahh, I do hope we get some interaction with Jack and Sawyer! They've both had very little to do this season.
zelda_zee
Mar. 20th, 2008 04:30 am (UTC)
I told you people would love this! Hell, just figuring out a way to write S4 J/S is an accomplishment! And then to do it like this, so the angst just jumps out a grabs you and it's hot and sad and lovely. It's almost old school - almost reminiscent of that previous J/S parting of the ways back at the end of S1 - in all the best ways. So good!
halfdutch
Mar. 20th, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
Oh, you're so sweet! (And oh, how I love that icon!)

I'm glad I made this an established relationship fic because that way, you can take their whole island history into account, including that previous parting. (We had no idea how good we had it back then!) They always seem to be saying goodbye, alas! And this one looks like it's for a really serious amount of time. *frets about the future*

Thanks so much for your kind words and as always, your betaing!

obreesprit
Mar. 20th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
Sweetly written-- I love how hot and intimate it is-- all the moreso by this second person (is that # right?) that you use. It's so sad though and I want Sawyer and Jack together, but they just don't seem like they would-- would they? Their natures too much in opposition. *sigh* Just gonna have to be satisfied with OOC stuff then. ;) Thank you for sharing your tallented work!
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! And yes, it is second person! :) I love the idea of them having them having a happily ever but that does seem like a stretch sometimes!

Thanks so much for your lovely words!
cmonkatiekatie
Mar. 20th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
If he keeps looking at you like that, you're going to go back there with him, you're going to give up everything and stay here on this fucking island.

*dies*

OMG. This is...I got no words. Romantic, achy, hot, fucked up, perfect. (Okay, so I had a few words)
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! :) I was so happy to write them again, you have no idea! Even better that you loved it!
bachlava
Mar. 20th, 2008 07:49 am (UTC)
Yay, new fic! And congratulations on making the impossible (S4 Jack/Sawer) not only possible, but lovely. Excellent work.
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you, darlin'! I'd been trying to think of a way to get them together and I'm so happy this worked!
alemyrddin
Mar. 20th, 2008 09:06 am (UTC)
oooh the angst! How long it's been since I've felt that tension between them? (really, the question could be: how long it's been since they had a scene together?)

Sawyer won't let himself get left behind again. Which is why he's going to leave you, by staying here.
*sniffles*

beautiful and heartbreaking.
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
God, it's been ages since they had a scene ... apart from the splitting up the tribes. :-/ I miss them so!

Thank you for your lovely fb on the fic. ♥
janie_tangerine
Mar. 20th, 2008 11:14 am (UTC)
Oh wow, this was really gorgeous! There really was some need of Jack/Sawyer action around (darn canon, at least they gave us Desmond and Sayid but I really am missing them right now ;_;) and it was just perfect. It ached, the second person POV managed to make you feel even more into the story and the last four paragraphs killed me, in the good way of course. And it really fit well into the current J/S-less canon. I really wish we get more of them together before the season ends. Loved it!
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm loving the Desmond/Sayid this season but I really miss Jack and Sawyer being together!

Thank you for your lovely fb! So glad you liked it!
gottalovev
Mar. 20th, 2008 02:29 pm (UTC)
that is so gorgeous and angsty and them...

I love it so much, especially the whole need of Sawyer to leave first because he doesn't want to be abandoned, and that means staying on the island. the need in Jack too, so well enhanced by the 2nd person...

beautiful. but now I miss their interaction even more ;)
halfdutch
Mar. 21st, 2008 09:21 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much, darling! :) Kate might not care about leaving Sawyer behind, but dammit, we know Jack does. Right?

Despite liking this season, I miss them having scenes together like crazy!
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