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Like a Ghost (Jack, Sawyer, PG)

Title: Like a Ghost
Characters: Jack, Sawyer (slashy if you want it to be)
Rating: PG
Spoilers: General S4
Word count: 523
Note: Thank you to zelda_zee for the beta! Written for the Day 4 Lyric Prompt at lostsquee:
Late last night I saw you in my living room
You seemed so close but yet so cold
For a long time I thought that you'd be coming back to me
Those kind of thoughts can be so cruel
[Morphine ~ In Spite Of Me]

Also using for the fanfic100 prompt "Spirit."


He sees Jack, sometimes, in his living room.

The first time it happened, he'd had too much Dharma beer and he could just as easily have imagined that damn boar was after him again. But no, it was Jack standing in the doorway, as if he were about to knock and ask to come in. But when Sawyer looked, really looked at the door, there was no one there.

He tried to shake the image loose the image from his head but Jack was still there, in silhouette, as he closed his eyes in bed.

He felt unsettled all the next day, as if he really had seen a ghost. The thought occurred to him that he wouldn't know if Jack had died in the meantime. He didn't even know if they all made it back to the real world or not. And as far as Jack knew, everyone left on the island, every damn one of them, had died without a real doctor around to take care of them. He wondered if Jack thinks of them, stuck back here on the rock. The next time Sawyer saw him, he thought it must be because Jack does think of them.

He was stone cold sober the second time. It was the middle of the night and he couldn't sleep. Something made him get up, some sixth sense that told him Jack would be sitting there on the couch, waiting for him. He didn't turn on the light, not sure if it was just at trick of the moonlight, even though there was no way a shadow could turn to follow his steps as he approached.

"Hey," he said, not sure if his voice was going to scare Jack off, even though he barely spoke above a whisper.

Jack didn't answer, just seemed to shrug. Sawyer paused, but Jack didn't move again, so he kept walking slowly towards the couch. Jack seemed so near as he sat down next to him that Sawyer couldn't help reaching out his hand. Jack seemed to lean into the touch and then, like that, he was gone.

Sawyer was left sitting alone in the dark, sure that this damn island had finally driven him as mad as Locke.

He still sees Jack, sometimes when he can't sleep. He always has to get up for him, though. Jack doesn't ever come to him. He finds him on the couch, or over by the window, looking out. They don't talk, maybe because this Jack can't. Or maybe there's just nothing to say.

Sawyer doesn't know if Jack's there because Sawyer wants him to be or if this is somehow Jack's way of saying he's coming back or that he's sorry. Mostly, Jack just seems sad, his head down, his shoulders stooped as if he'd aged years instead of a few months.

Whatever Jack's up to in the real world, Sawyer figures, it isn't any better than being here.

"You always were a melancholy bastard," Sawyer says and Jack appears to nod.

One of these days, he's going to ask some of the others, Juliet maybe, if she sees Jack too. But for now he decides to keep Jack to himself.

Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
siluria
Apr. 23rd, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwwwwwwwww. I really like the concept behind this, and the little characteristics and insight - very nice indeed!!
halfdutch
Apr. 23rd, 2008 11:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon! I was in the mood to write something and this melancholy little thing came out.
demonqueen666
Apr. 23rd, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
"You always were a melancholy bastard,"

I don't think that was supposed to make me laugh, but it did. Oh, Sawyer.

This was very well-done. I could see it happening and, frankly, this wouldn't even be the weirdest thing Sawyer's even seen, given how this island works.
halfdutch
Apr. 23rd, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
Hee, no, I love that it made you laugh! I do think that Sawyer's always managed to keep his sense of humor, even in the face of some very strange occurrences. Cuz if you can't laugh, what are you gonna do? Thanks for reading, hon!
janie_tangerine
Apr. 23rd, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
;___; this was really good. I absolutely loved the concept of it and how bittersweet it was, though the boar mention at the beginning was pure gold. It has a kind of mysterious tone which really worked. And the ending? I could totally see it. Great work!
halfdutch
Apr. 23rd, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you darling. This one made me very sad too. For all I know, Sawyer and the others won't be the least bit sad about being left behind but I kinda refuse to believe that! Everyone, on the island or off, seems destined to a life of misery and regret! Very glad you liked this one. :)
hendercats
Apr. 23rd, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
sure that this damn island had finally driven him as mad as Locke
Perfectly stated fate-worse-than-death.

I really like the feel of this, and love the idea of Jack's guilt making him haunt Sawyer.
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 01:43 am (UTC)
Thank you! That prompt just spoke to me. We're always trying to get them back together somehow when canon splits them up, aren't we?
eponine119
Apr. 24th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC)
I love this! It's so spooky and ambiguous. I love Sawyer's kind of weary acceptance, especially in those final few lines.
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 02:02 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, hon. I'm glad this worked. It is rather ambiguous and I guess you could read this a few different ways. I can't help but think that Sawyer is so lonely that he doesn't really care about proving whether Jack's presence is real. *sniffles*
gottalovev
Apr. 24th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
that is so sad... I love that Sawyer wants to keep that Jack to himself. what a great feel to this fic, sweet and sad, full of longing. I loved it.
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you, hon. That's exactly what I was going for. Damn, I can't seem to let these two be happy lately. They need to be together, that's why! Thanks for reading!
elise_509
Apr. 24th, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)
That was fantastic. I love this passage the most:

Mostly, Jack just seems sad, his head down, his shoulders stooped as if he'd aged years instead of a few months.

Whatever Jack's up to in the real world, Sawyer figures, it isn't any better than being here.

"You always were a melancholy bastard," Sawyer says and Jack appears to nod.

One of these days, he's going to ask some of the others, Juliet maybe, if she sees Jack too. But for now he decides to keep Jack to himself.


Oh, Jack. Sawyer would so call him a melancholy bastard, that's so him.

Great concept, hon! Amazing.
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much, hon! I guess I was in a melancholy mood myself in writing this one. At this point in canon, I can't see either one of them ever being happy, alas.
inthekeyofd
Apr. 24th, 2008 06:22 am (UTC)
I freakin' LOVE THIS, it's the perfect amount of dark and like Jack, melancholy.

I can actually see Sawyer sitting there on that couch hesitantly reaching out..and then he's gone. *sigh*

Oh oh, really, it's killing me, because maybe Sawyer wants him to be there, maybe Jack wants to be there..but they can't be together.

I had to read this before I went to sleep, and it's a perfect way to end the day. You just always hit the right balances and now just how to set a scene that you can feel it, it's the loneliness, the questioning..and yep, the melancholy is pretty much tangible and definitely palpable.

EXCELLENT!!
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much, darling! And very glad it made for good bedtime reading. After I posted this, I was thinking it might be interesting to have Sawyer wake up and find Jack watching him as he sleeps. I'm just going to mentally add that -- even if Sawyer never knows about it!



Edited at 2008-04-24 08:35 pm (UTC)
inthekeyofd
Apr. 24th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)
HOLY SMACK, if you were a man I'd marry you!! You just hit my super sekrit sap kink! Oh dear lord, the watching while another one sleeps..what I love is when it's the harder one of the two, the one that doesn't show as much emotion does it, because it's almost the only time they show just how much they are feeling for the other person..but then again, either one and I'm okay with it, I totally am. you may have just made my day with that comment!!

Remember when I was talking about the Wallflowers last week...you so know I"m going to have to listen to "Closer to You" now. And I shall love every note of it!!!
alemyrddin
Apr. 24th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
They don't talk, maybe because this Jack can't. Or maybe there's just nothing to say.
*sighs*

I like this. And also that Sawyer decides to "keep Jack for himself", for now.
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks, hon! I like the idea too. Our poor lonely lads!
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Apr. 24th, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! The prompt really conjured up a whole scene for me that just fit Sawyer being left behind on the island.

And I love your icon!
haldoor
Apr. 25th, 2008 04:49 am (UTC)
Awwww, this makes me sad, but it is one of those things you can just see, somehow. Very melancholy, but good stuff all the same!
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )

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