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There Goes My Hero (Hurley fic PG-13)

Title: There Goes My Hero
Summary: Hurley isn't the only one with a crush on Jack
Pairing: A few Hurley man-crushes, vague Jack/Sawyer
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up through the Season 4 finale
Word count: 2044
Note: Not at all what I thought I'd end up writing next (or, that I'd write anything at all!) Many thanks to zelda_zee for the beta!


Hurley could trace it all back to Jack's "Jedi moment."

Before that, Jack had been just a guy, sure a heroic one and all, who saved a lot of lives and pushed himself really damn hard, but maybe he was just a workaholic or something. But when Hurley saw him literally change Shannon's tortured breathing, just by talking to her, well, he never looked at Jack quite the same way again.

He took to kind of following Jack around, hoping for another display of sheer Jedi brilliance, but he quickly realized he wasn't the only one with a crush on Jack.

There was Kate, who always tagged along, whether Jack wanted her there or not. And mostly, Hurley told himself, Jack preferred not to have her company.

He had a feeling that Charlie had a bit of a man-crush on Jack as well, not that he'd ever ask him, but Charlie was just a little too eager to get Jack's attention. Hurley only noticed because that meant there was a lot less of Jack's attention for him.

And then there was Boone, who kind of alternated between being surly towards Jack and trying to be Jack. Not that his being a lifeguard, or so he claimed, could possibly equal Jack's being a world-class surgeon. And Boone wasn't exactly scrawny, but he was nowhere near as muscular and built as Jack, who could surely bend Boone in two if he ever had to.

Besides the crowd of people madly crushing on Jack, there was also the long line of people who simply needed medical treatment or Jack's advice about this or that. It was pretty damn hard to get a moment of Jack's time for anything other than a life or death situation.

What finally killed his crush on Jack, though, was Jack himself.

Everyone was dismissive of Hurley; Charlie, his so-called best friend, thought he was lying about the lottery money. Sawyer hadn't ever thought of a cruel nickname he didn't use on Hurley. And of course the women wouldn't give Hurley the time of day either-- which is what got Hurley in this stupid spot of having a man-crush in the first place -- unless it was to sigh and pine over Jack (or Sawyer) to him, as if he was one of their girlfriends.

The building resentment from that alone should have been enough to end his crush. But Jack killed it just by being Jack, the driven doctor who always had one more life to save, one more crisis to solve, one more pint of blood to give. Jack was, Hurley had to admit, a jerk when you came right down to it. Not in the way that Sawyer was a jerk. That was just honest jerkiness. Jack was a jerk exactly because he was trying so hard not to be. He was like Batman or Superman all right, not just when the world needed saving, but all the damn time. He just couldn't ever stop being Jack. Maybe back in the real world, he was an easygoing kind of guy, but here on the island, Jack was, to be honest, a complete tool.

It's not just because he wouldn't listen to Hurley about the Numbers. Or because he never took Hurley seriously after he told him he'd spent some time in a mental institution. There was always that look in Jack’s eye that meant he wasn't really listening to you, but to his own inner Bat Signal, which was clearly on the verge of going off every other minute.

And so Hurley gave up his crush on Jack. With the Jack-blinders off, he suddenly realized that the real action hero of the island was none other than Sayid. Smart, determined, incredibly capable and probably able to take down James Bond and John McClane, and anyone else who cared to try him, Sayid was the real deal. Plus, he always wore those formfitting tank tops and he had really nice arms. Really nice.

Trouble was, Sayid was just as busy as Jack. Always needed for strategic planning and building of weapons or interrogating strangers or ... well, the list just never ended. Although Sayid did at least find time to hook up with Shannon, which proved he was human in a way that Jack clearly wasn't. Still ... Sayid had no time for him, and that kind of sucked.

It wasn't until after Boone and Charlie were both gone that Hurley gravitated towards Sawyer. Now, there was a guy who always had time for playing cards or ping pong or killing a case of Dharma beer or tossing sticks for the dog to catch. Yeah, Sawyer could be an asshole, but it was only on the surface. Deep down, Sawyer was a complete marshmallow and Hurley was one of the few who ever got close enough to see that.

There'd be Kate, and Juliet, and all the rest of them, traipsing after Jack, while he and Sawyer sat side by side, soaking up the rays, and he'd want to shout, "Hey! Morons! You'll never get anywhere with Jack. Now, Sawyer, here, he's The Man!"

When he was with Sawyer, everything felt right. There wasn't any crisis too dire that Sawyer didn't flash that dimpled smile of his and make some wiseass remark, like Han Solo or something. Made you feel like everything would be okay. And, he knew Sawyer hated to admit it, but he had quietly been racking up his own list of heroic deeds until it might even overshadow the Ol' Doc's list himself.

Yeah, Kate tended to hang around Sawyer too, but a man had needs, Hurley got that. But then Kate would go on her merry way and it would be just the two of them again, shooting the breeze, the way it should be.

Then the freighter guys came and everything went to hell. Once upon a time, Hurley would have gone wherever Jack led, but now he followed Locke and didn't look back. Hurley told himself it was to protect Claire and the baby and that it was what Charlie would have wanted, but it really just boiled down to the fact that that's the way Sawyer was going. If they were all going to die, he might as well have Sawyer there to make the last days a bit better. Jack had everyone else, after all.

He never dreamed he and Sawyer would end up sharing a house. Sawyer was the best roommate ever, and if being stranded on a desert island and hiding from people who want to kill you could ever be called "fun," well, that's what Sawyer made it.

Of course, Kate would show up again, like a bad penny. But it wasn't long before she was on her way back to Jack. Hurley felt bad for Sawyer -- he'd heard the whole argument through those thin walls -- but he couldn't figure out why Sawyer was so hung up on Kate in the first place.

Sawyer was turning out to be the best friend he ever had. Sawyer trusted him enough to trick Sayid, which was huge, considering there was a time when those two were tight. Still, as awesome as that was, it didn't even come close to when Sawyer came back for him, when he was out there alone in the jungle. At that moment Hurley was maybe the happiest he'd ever been in his whole life. Sawyer had come back. For him. It was totally something Han Solo would do.

Sure, Sawyer had already doled out the nicknames "Han" and "Chewie," but anyone could see that Sawyer was really Han and that had to make Hurley Chewie, didn't it? Because no way would Han ever abandon Chewie. Ever.

Except for the one way that Sawyer did abandon him, finally. On the helicopter, when they were all seconds from going down, Sawyer fucking jumped and saved them all. He kissed Kate and told her goodbye, but he did it for all of them, including Hurley.

Any joy Hurley felt about getting home again and sleeping in a real bed and eating real ice cream and having his mom fuss over him was tempered by the fact that Sawyer stayed behind. If he survived that swim back that is, and Hurley told himself that if anyone could, it would be Sawyer.

Besides, Sawyer has never been to see him here in the institution. Not the way that Charlie and Boone and Eko came to visit. No, Sawyer's staying away had to mean he was still drawing breath somewhere back on the island. And that was one small thing for Hurley to be happy about.

When Jack -- the new, all-smiles Jack, who pretended everything was great and absolutely nothing was wrong -- first came to see him, it wasn't because he wanted to see how Hurley was doing. No, he wanted to know if Hurley was going to expose Jack's elaborately constructed lie. The panic on his face before Hurley shrugged and said he wouldn't was all Hurley needed to know about Jack's motives.

But something was different when Jack came back. Hurley couldn't quite put his finger on it but he reminded him again of the old Jack, the one he remembered from the island. The one he used to kind of hero-worship a little. Not that it mattered anymore. Not like it ever did in the first place.

Jack was visibly rattled when Hurley gave him Charlie's message. He tried to shake it off, but Hurley could see that on some level, Jack believed that Charlie had been here, had spoken to him.

Jack started to leave but paused, his hand on the door handle. "You... you don't ever see Sawyer, do you?" he asked in a voice so quiet, Hurley wasn't sure he heard him right.

"You mean here...?"

"No. Yes. I mean..." Jack stopped, searching for the words to explain what he meant, but he gave up with a shrug, his sentence left unfinished.

But Hurley thought he knew what Jack meant. "No, I haven't ever seen Sawyer here. I think that means he made it, dude. He's okay."

Jack nodded, flashing a quick, uncertain smile. "Did he ever tell you he dug that bullet out of his arm himself? After saving Michael from drowning...."

Hurley grimaced at the unwelcome name and Jack realized too late what he'd said. "Yeah, I guess it would have been better if Sawyer hadn't ..."

"Dude, it's Sawyer," Hurley said, surprised he had to point that out to Jack. “He couldn't not do that stuff."

Jack almost laughed at that. "Yeah, that's Sawyer all right. Always with the big heroic gesture." They both smiled for a moment and, for that instant, it felt like Sawyer was there in the room with them, like maybe he'd just told a really funny joke and they were all still smiling from it.

Hurley took a deep breath. He’d always thought if he'd confessed his crush on Jack to anyone, it would have been to Sawyer, but now he found himself doing the opposite. "I kinda... well, I kinda had a crush on the guy," he said, not meeting Jack's eye "You know, a man crush. Cuz he was so cool and ..."

When he did look up, Jack was smiling, although his eyes were wet. "Yeah, me too," he said with an odd little laugh. "Me too, Hurley." Jack rubbed his hand over his forehead, as if there was more he was going to say, but then he just gave a kind of defeated shrug and walked out the door.

It wasn't until after Jack left that Hurley realized... Jack didn't think he was too good for all of them. He never thought he was good enough.

Hurley settled heavily on his bed. All this time, he'd been misreading Jack. Turns out he had a case of hero-worship going on maybe just as strong as Hurley did.

He'd have to ask Charlie what he thought about that, the next time he saw him.

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Comments

( 44 comments — Leave a comment )
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zelda_zee
Jun. 29th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
Aww, I just love this! Your Hurley voice is great and I love his take on everyone, especially Jack and Sawyer - and Sayid too! And the ending is great. I love Jack's acknowledgment of Sawyer's heroism and his admission that he had crushed on him too.

This fic manages to be funny and sweet and also just the tiniest bit sad.

(And I like the title you chose!)
halfdutch
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, hon! :) This started out as a silly little fic but then it did get that edge of sadness -- leaving Sawyer behind would make anyone melancholy! Srsly, I couldn't stand to see Jack go off with Sawyer (or vice versa) and leave Hurley all alone.

Glad you like the title -- Foo Fighters helped out with that! ;)
elise_509
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
It wasn't until after Jack left that Hurley realized... Jack didn't think he was too good for all of them. He never thought he was good enough.

True that.

This is so cute and bittersweet, Hurley trying on man crush after man crush until he finds the right one, like some big goofy Goldilocks. It's interesting getting Hurley's view on everyone; and his attitude regarding Kate is kinda priceless. ;)

Edited at 2008-06-29 02:09 am (UTC)
halfdutch
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:39 am (UTC)
*beams* You know I love Jack and I think the poor schmuck just never lets himself be happy -- ever. Even if he likes someone, he just never acts on it. Srsly, I think Hurley has a better chance at finding lasting love!

And hee, yes, Hurley as Goldilocks, I love that! I think Hurley can see that Kate is not the best choice for either Jack *or* Sawyer!
jenthegypsy
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:11 am (UTC)
I will love you forever for writing this story - absolutely forever. I love it to pieces and beyond - every single line. Thanks, darlin'. &hearts</i>

*saves*
halfdutch
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
Oh! *glomps* Thanks so much, hon! This comment totally made my day!
kataren
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:54 am (UTC)
I haven't been following Lost since, forever, that even (supposed) spoilers don't even, er...spoil me. ^^;; Ignorance is bliss, eh. :P

Hurley's POV is a refreshing - & funny - one. (IMO, it's not always easy to capture his voice.) Man-crushes are always win. :)
halfdutch
Jun. 29th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
Ahh, glad I didn't ruin anything for you! I did enjoy the finale, btw but if you've missed everything that came before, it probably wouldn't make a lot of sense!

I don't think I've written a Hurley POV before -- glad you liked it! And yes, man-crushes *are* always win!
janie_tangerine
Jun. 29th, 2008 07:02 am (UTC)
Oh, this is just so good! Your Hurley voice sounds amazing, especially with all the superheroes and Star Wars parallels he does, I could really hear him there. Also, you had a perfect balance between fun and sadness here and I absolutely love how it ties to canon. The way he sees both Jack and Sawyer is perfect (and go him for his attitude towards Kate.. ;) ) and well, who would blame him for his man crushes?

Smart, determined, incredibly capable and probably able to take down James Bond and John McClane, and anyone else who cared to try him, Sayid was the real deal. Plus, he always wore those formfitting tank tops and he had really nice arms. Really nice.

I cracked five minutes on this one ;) also, much love for the last line. This was great work!
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:04 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much, darling! :) I am glad you liked the Hurley voice (possibly my first time writing from his POV) and all the rest of it.

Who *could* blame him for his man crushes! Those are some mighty fine men to crush on right there!
fosfomifira
Jun. 29th, 2008 08:47 am (UTC)
Awww, poor Hurley! Poor Jack and poor Sawyer, too, but this makes me want to give Hurley a big hug.

I love the story of his man crushes. He's dead on with his observations and your internal dialoge is spot-on. I'm particularly in love with this section: There was always that look in Jack’s eye that meant he wasn't really listening to you, but to his own inner Bat Signal - that's so Jack, always paying attention to the disaster about to happen rather than to what's happening in the present, good or bad.

Of course Hurley's next crush would be Sayid. How could anyone not fall for Sayid? He's got the looks, the intelligence and the wardrobe to make anyone fall for him. But I'm glad that he eventually fell for Sawyer. Hurley is one of the few true friends Sawyer has ever had, I'm sure of it. They *are* Han and Chewie and that's another spot-on observation that I love. Han wouldn't abandon Chewie and Chewie wouldn't forget or quit looking for Han.

I hope they all get together one day. Reading this makes me wish for a fic where they make it out of the island, the Oceanic Six don't go crazy and Hurley gets to adopt, sort of, Sawyer. Even though Hurley doesn't know all about Sawyer's past, I think he'd understand better than most what it's like to have that sort of past and needing to move on, let go and not really being able to.

I think I'm rambling too much, so it's about to wrap things up and go to bed, but not before saying how much I enjoyed this story or what a treat it is to see you writing again.

Edited at 2008-06-29 08:48 am (UTC)
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Hurley does deserve a big hug, doesn't he? I'm not sure who I feel worst for in the future but none of them have it very good. And Hurley has lost all his best friends, poor guy. I hope we get to see him give Sawyer a big "welcome back" hug one of these days. (Of course, happy moments are in short supply these days, esp. for the O6!) I just love the friendship that's grown between Hurley and Sawyer. He was one of the first to be able to just cut through Sawyer's b.s. and you could see that Sawyer respected that. They really are Han and Chewie!

Thanks so much for the kind words, especially about my writing again! That means a whole lot to me! ♥



astra2104
Jun. 29th, 2008 10:01 am (UTC)
Awwww....man. I love this, too! Even though I've been a Jack/Sawyer sipper from the very start, there is something about pairing Hurley with those two that just makes me melt and go all warm and fuzzy inside...

I love the idea that Jack might talk with Hurley about Sawyer, whether he made it back, if he's still alive - it seems like something you those two could talk about, without all the baggage and awkwardness.

And of course the last three paragraphs are great ♥
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
Hurley is the ultimate BFF, isn't he? And he's so shy that even if he *did* have a crush on someone, he'd be very slow to act on it. (Remember how Sawyer had to shove him to flirt with Libby?) And I liked the idea that he realizes he has that shyness in common with Jack (whether or not they both share a crush on Sawyer, which I like to think they do!)

I would love the idea of Jack worrying about Sawyer instead of being jealous of him. But hey, that's what fic is for! Thanks for reading!
toestastegood
Jun. 29th, 2008 11:17 am (UTC)
Aw, that is so sweet and adorable!
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
Thanks, hon! It was fun to write. :)
bachlava
Jun. 29th, 2008 01:43 pm (UTC)
Awww. This is so sweet and cute and so profoundly sad all at the same time. I can absolutely see Hurley having this kind of understated man-crush admiration for the more macho guys on the beach (let's face it, Hurley's not your classic alpha male), but being more discreet and realistic about it than Charlie or Boone. (Well, in Boone's case, it may have been more than just a man-crush. Poor Boone.) Amazing insight into Hurley's thought process and how that links up with his emotions and his character judgment - and such perfect little glimpses into the others as well.

Jack was a jerk exactly because he was trying so hard not to be... It wasn't until after Jack left that Hurley realized... Jack didn't think he was too good for all of them. He never thought he was good enough.
That is completely true. I hadn't really thought of it in those terms, but you're absolutely right. My heart kind of breaks for both of them in that final conversation.

And Boone wasn't exactly scrawny, but he was nowhere near as muscular and built as Jack, who could surely bend Boone in two if he ever had to.
Or bend him over. (Sorry, couldn't resist.;)

Beautiful work.
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
It is rather sad, isn't it? I had the idea of going off in a much sillier direction but then it kind of wanted to go this way and, well, I let it!

I'd like to think of Jack and Hurley bonding again -- and of course, ultimately being reunited with Sawyer!!

And yes, of course there was more to Boone's crush than just admiration! Hee, I can't blame you at all for going to a porny place with the words "Jack" and "Boone" and "bend!"

elliotsmelliot
Jun. 29th, 2008 01:55 pm (UTC)
I just want to take this story and give it a big hug, much like I often want to do with Hurley. Hurley is one of the most level headed observers of the goings on at Craphole Island and you captured this so well with his spot on observations of all the guys and girls.

There was always that look in Jack’s eye that meant he wasn't really listening to you, but to his own inner Bat Signal, which was clearly on the verge of going off every other minute.

I don't know if I've ever read a more apt description of Jack!

There wasn't any crisis too dire that Sawyer didn't flash that dimpled smile of his and make some wiseass remark, like Han Solo or something. Made you feel like everything would be okay.

Awwww.

The end with lovely, not only because of the mutual confessions by the co-presidents of the ‘I love Sawyer Club,’ but Jack and Hurley reconnected and maybe that means they won't be so lonely anymore without their hero. Thanks so much for writing this. It was just what I needed.

halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:16 am (UTC)
Awww. *hugs back*

I miss Hurley calling everyone out on their B.S. and pointing out the obvious. Crazy!Hurley makes me sad. But I have faith he can bounce back and so can Jack. And that we (and they) will see Sawyer again and it'll all be okay. (Oops, what show am *I* watching?)

Very glad to hear this fic hit the right note with you. I was pleased to have finished and posted something at last and to get feedback like this makes me very happy indeed!
siluria
Jun. 29th, 2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwwwwwww, this is really rather sweet, I loved it!
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much, hon! The idea for the fic, like Hurley's crush, started with thinking back to that "Jedi moment." :)
gregoria44
Jun. 29th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
Killer last line!

Liked this a lot.
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! :) That would be an interest conversation wouldn't it? LOL. :)
demonqueen666
Jun. 29th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
Awwww. Hurley fic! And it being all about mancrushes, and the Big Damn Heroes of the Island and how Sawyer was the Biggest Damn Hero of them all. *snugs*
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:18 am (UTC)
Oh, thanks, darling! :) It's about time someone recognized Sawyer's heroics, right? And I think Hurley would be first in line for that honor! Glad you liked it!
gottalovev
Jun. 30th, 2008 02:57 am (UTC)
awww, that is so adorable! it's been a while that a Lost fic made me want to cuddle everyone. and I love the image that Laura gave, that he's some kind of Goldilocks, looking for the perfect man crush :)

the little confession to Jack at the end... aww. as I said: hugs. hugs all around :)
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Aww. *snuggles*

Thanks, hon! It's a bit melancholy but I'm glad it made you smile as well. I was also very charmed by Laura's comparing Hurley to Goldilocks! (Which makes, what, Jack too cold, Sayid too hot and Sawyer juuuuuust right? LOL.)

*HUGS*
alemyrddin
Jun. 30th, 2008 10:25 am (UTC)
There was always that look in Jack’s eye that meant he wasn't really listening to you, but to his own inner Bat Signal, which was clearly on the verge of going off every other minute.
This is such an appropriate image! It's true, it's hard to have Jack's attention, what with everyone asking for him and him always trying to be available to everyone!

And, he knew Sawyer hated to admit it, but he had quietly been racking up his own list of heroic deeds until it might even overshadow the Ol' Doc's list himself.
I love that Hurley noticed! And of course he did, that's why he pushed Sawyer towards leadership when Jack was away.

Of course, Kate would show up again, like a bad penny.
LOL. ;)

Loved this, great Hurley voice, and I'm happy that he somehow knows that Sawyer is alive. The ending left me sad though... all those useless misunderstandings... life is both ironic and cruel sometimes. *sighs*
halfdutch
Jul. 1st, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)
Hee, glad you liked that description of Jack. He's been compared to Batman before that not really listening to you thing he does made me trot out that comparison again!

This one is a bit sad, I guess because I'm still working within current canon. And, after all, Sawyer was left behind! And Hurley and Jack are miserable because of it! *nods*

Thanks for reading!
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