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Only You and I (Sawyer/Juliet) - R

Title: Only You and I
Pairing: Sawyer/Juliet (slight Miles/Charlotte)
Rating: R
Summary: He leads her on, although they have no idea where they're going.
Spoilers: 5.01 and 5.02



At first Juliet keeps her hand on Sawyer's arm to calm him, to stop him from lashing out in his anger and confusion as day turns to night and back again, time whirling away and flooding back without warning, without reason.

Miles has an eerie calm about him that only sparks Sawyer's rage, because it's just not normal to be so unsurprised as trees, camps, hatches, flash in and out of existence all around them. Charlotte draws her own haughty confidence from Miles' certainty. The two of them are maddening in the sureness of their silence, in the glances they exchange, as if they know all, but can't be bothered to explain any of it.

The glass of the hatch is there, solid and sure under Juliet's fingertips,and then, in an instant, it vanishes again. Nothing is solid, nothing but the feel of Sawyer's arm under her fingertips. She finds herself holding on to him more and more, memorizing the way the hairs on his forearm raise when the light changes, the lingering heat on his skin from a sun that's swallowed up in seconds by the night.

Charlotte and Miles scout ahead and she and Sawyer don't make much of an effort to keep up. Juliet is relieved not to have to play the role of trusting follower, not to pretend that this moving forward and backward in time isn't slowly breaking her body and mind, flash by flash.

At some point, she's not sure when, Sawyer's hand has taken hold of her wrist. He leads her on, although they have no idea where they're going. When night comes again, he stops. Their eyes have to get used to the darkness: It's not safe to wander blindly at night, no matter how long the night lasts.

As the air cools, she shivers, although, bare-chested as he is, he must be colder than her. He draws her to him, and he's warm, his skin almost burning. "Looks like it's just you and me, kid," he says and she shivers again, only this time not from the cold.

He bends down to meet her mouth and she kisses him hard, as if she's trying to push through him, to prove once and all whether he's really here. He lays her on the ground and without a word, jerks down her jeans. Her legs are around his waist and he's inside her and it feels so right, so real. There is only his ragged breath, his hands gripping her waist, his long hair tickling her face, and his cock buried deep inside her. There is only Sawyer.

Sunlight flares around his head suddenly and they're both blinded. She closes her eyes and he falters, but she doesn't let him stop, her body urging him on, deeper, closer, more. Dark switches to light and back again and still, they keep fucking. This is the only thing that's real, this here, this now, their bodies fused together.

He comes with a cry that sounds through the jungle, then collapses on top of her, utterly spent. They fall asleep like that, Sawyer still inside her, and they wake to daylight and begin again. There is nothing left but Sawyer, inside her, on top of her, weighing her down, filling her up, bruising her skin, pulling her hair. If they stop, even for a second, she thinks, the world just might stop. She sinks her nails into his back, bites his neck, wanting to leave these marks to remember her by, if the world should end, if he -- or she -- should disappear.

They fuck until they're too sore and exhausted to go on. His body is even heavier in slumber, pressing her into the ground and for the first time since this began, she feels safe. He's not going anywhere, and if he is, she's going with him, she thinks as she drops off into sleep.

She's cold when she wakes and she sits up with a start, realizing she's alone. She tries not to panic, but her heart can't stop pounding and she's dizzy as she gets to her feet, pulling up her jeans stiffly. He's gone, he's really gone, she tells herself as she scans the woods and sees no sign of anything human.

Her muscles ache and she's probably dehydrated but that's not why she sinks to the ground. "Sawyer," she says out loud, her voice raspy and flat.

When she looks up again, he's walking towards her, a vision of golden skin and dirty blue jeans. He's holding two bottles of water and she doesn't even ask where he got them. He looks at her as if seeing her for the first time and her heart jumps -- does he even know me?

There's a blankness about his face that makes it hard for her to breathe, because if she's lost him, she's lost everything.

A cloud passes over the sun, obscuring his face, but it's just a cloud, because he's bathed in radiance as he sits down next to her, collapsing in exhaustion.

"You don't wanna know," he says darkly as he hands her one of the bottles. She just nods and takes a sip, letting the tears running down her face be about how much she needed that drink of cool, clear water.

He leans against her as he tips up his own bottle, letting the water trickle down his chin as if he's too tired to care he's wasting it. He lets out a deep sigh, his body relaxing into hers. She puts her arms around him, reassuring herself he's real, he's here, and they stay like that for a moment. She kisses his forehead; he tastes of sweat and dirt, but he has a taste, because he is here, he is really here.

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
kataclysmic
Jan. 26th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
Oh, this was just what I've been waiting for since Wednesday - absoluteley fantastic. I could read a lot more of this.
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:29 am (UTC)
Oh, hey, how ARE you? :)

Very glad you liked this. I'm definitely feeling the Sawyer/Juliet this season! :)
inthekeyofd
Jan. 26th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
*sigh* Just *sigh*

I'm loving this pairing, yes, I'm out of my otp, but like zelda said, there is nothing wrong with having a slash one and a het one at the same time. *smile*

Is it wrong that the line about him being heavier in slumber is just..it just totally makes my brain melt? *smile*

Much AWESOMENESS here, MUCH.
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:31 am (UTC)
Thank you, dear! Yep, there's nothing at all wrong with having one slash OTP and one het one, or hell, even several, right?

Very glad you liked this! I saw you posted Sawyer/Juliet too! I wanted to get this written and now I can go read yours. Yay!
jazzpno
Jan. 26th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC)

>>>There is only Sawyer.<<<
That says it all for me.

Juliet rarely gets to exhibit any passion, but it fits here. Here she is true to "Juliet of canon" plus a litte something more. I hope the show explores a little more of this side of Juliet, too.

>>>They fall asleep like that, Sawyer still inside her, and they wake to daylight and begin again.<<<
Now THAT'S fodder for fantasy ...


Umm...Kate who?
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:32 am (UTC)
Here she is true to "Juliet of canon" plus a litte something more. I hope the show explores a little more of this side of Juliet, too.

Oh wow, thank you! I like the idea that she has had to be tough but I've enjoyed seeing glimpses of the woman behind the "can-do" mask.

Very glad you liked! I guess, on the show, Sawyer will always love Kate but in the meantime, Juliet's right there, right?
favoritedarknes
Jan. 27th, 2009 08:23 am (UTC)

Umm...Kate who?


LOL, so true!
lasamy
Jan. 26th, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
...oh wow *_*

I really needed this.
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:33 am (UTC)
Thank you! So happy to provide some Sawyer/Juliet if you were jonesing for it! :)
janie_tangerine
Jan. 26th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, I absolutely loved it. It was just so beautiful! I really loved how they came together here, it made so much sense and it was kind of heartbreaking at the same time. And you built some incredible tension here, this just wouldn't let you go once you started. Also? Hot. Very hot. And I'm in love with the last paragraph or something. Absolutely great work!!
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, darling! Awww, you are too sweet! I'm so glad this was hot *and* suspenseful. Yay! I guess I always seem to have these two get right down to it, don't I? LOL.
geminigrace
Jan. 26th, 2009 11:18 pm (UTC)
I'm loving this pairing and this is such a great story! Very sad and hot and just plain wonderful!!
halfdutch
Jan. 27th, 2009 12:35 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! :) They are very pretty together, aren't they? And they seem so in synch right now, of course that has to translate to sex, right? :)
whimsey
Jan. 27th, 2009 08:08 am (UTC)
Wow. I absolutely love this couple. They need each other.

I wish there were more Juliet/Sawyer stories.
halfdutch
Jan. 28th, 2009 01:50 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm loving them together too.

Have you checked out lostblondes? It's a Sawyer/Juliet fic comm. :)
whimsey
Jan. 28th, 2009 03:49 am (UTC)
Yes I have, but I read practically all the stories that are on lj about Juliet/Sawyer. :( I want more.
alemyrddin
Jan. 27th, 2009 11:42 am (UTC)
This is the only thing that's real, this here, this now, their bodies fused together.

I loved this, that Sawyer becomes for her the only reality, and the only safe place. It makes a lot of sense in that situation, and it's really sexy.
I love this pairing.
halfdutch
Jan. 28th, 2009 01:51 am (UTC)
Thank you, hon! I'm so glad you liked it. I'm loving them together.
_chica02
Jan. 27th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
What a great fic. I am loving the idea of Sawyer/Juliet and I think you captured them splendidly in this story. I always judge fics based on whether or not I can hear the characters' voices in the dialogue and I could definitely hear Sawyer's drawl in the words he spoke. Kudos! :D I also loved the way you...melted the two together. They progress until they're just part of each other, literally.

I'd have to say my favorite line was this:

There's a blankness about his face that makes it hard for her to breathe, because if she's lost him, she's lost everything.

It captures Juliet's insecurities beautifully. And the resolution in the final paragraph was perfectly written.

Thanks so much for sharing this! Hope to see more S/J from you. :)
halfdutch
Jan. 28th, 2009 01:56 am (UTC)
I also loved the way you...melted the two together. They progress until they're just part of each other, literally.

Thank you! That's a lovely way to look at it. :) Very glad you liked.

I have written some Sawyer/Juliet prior to this (here) and I'm sure I'll be writing more! Thanks again.
weehobbit
Jan. 27th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC)
This is a lovely. The last sentence sealed the deal for me. That they have to keep this connection or risk getting lost and confused... well, more than they already are. Almost like a constant, as it were. Nicely done!
halfdutch
Jan. 28th, 2009 01:56 am (UTC)
Oh, I like that, they're each other's constant! Perfect. Thank you for the kind words!
alliecat8
Jan. 29th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)
I've always liked the idea of Sawyer and Juliet as a pair, but it's making more and more sense now, isn't it? Juliet just *works* for me as someone that Sawyer could love -- she gives instead of takes, they share a sense of humor, she behaves like a grown-up -- all qualities that Kate never displayed with him. And now Sawyer is becoming more of a "giver," too, as he takes over the role of leader, and as you showed here with him bringing the water to her, and just being there for her. You gave a clear sense of how much they need each other, and I adore you for that. Of course they'll never replace my *true* OTP, but as a canon couple, they make me happy! :)
halfdutch
Feb. 4th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
I was so NOT into Juliet going anywhere near my Sawyer for the longest time, but now I'm all for it. What a difference a few months makes!

You're right, compared to Kate, she does behaving like a grown-up, and how refreshing is that?

I'm so happy that so many of us J/S fans are digging this het pairing! Yay! Thanks for reading. :)
eponine119
Feb. 2nd, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
This is so good! There's so many lines I liked, and there's something about your writing that makes it all so easy to picture, vivid and real.
halfdutch
Feb. 4th, 2009 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh wow, thank you! That's such a lovely compliment! ♥

And hey, you really started the whole Juliet/Sawyer ball rolling, didn't you? Except I was so not on board at first! But I'm happy to have joined you in thinking that yes, they're pretty damn good together.
gottalovev
Mar. 8th, 2009 05:53 am (UTC)
I am really really late in my fic reading, yes! sorry!

I loved this, how they have sex through the flash and anchor each other. I like how now canon maybe not gave us that, but the general feeling of it =D
halfdutch
Mar. 8th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
Thank you, m'dear! Never too late to receive such a lovely comment. :) I'm so glad you liked it. And I don't think we or the characters could have stood an entire season of flashing back and forth in time! But it was definitely called for ficcing!
emiliglia
May. 24th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
I'm way late to the party, clearly, but I just loved this. All the descriptions were so perfect. Memming!
halfdutch
May. 25th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much, hon! :)
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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