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For Eloise, With Love (Daniel fic)

Title: For Eloise, With Love
Rating: PG
Summary: He thinks of Eloise, the rat
Spoilers: For "The Variable"
Word count: 176
Note: For all Daniel fans, but mostly for elise_509 and elliotsmelliot.



The pain, so sharp at first, is already fading. The world is blurring away. He no longer sees the shocked face of his mother.

All he sees is Eloise, the rat.

He named her after his mother, a little joke at the expense of the woman who tried to rule every aspect of his life, to turn him away from what he loved, from music, from Teresa. He was meant for something more, his mother told him over and over. He hated the word destiny, but he believed her, did as she asked. Because she was his mother.

He killed Eloise, the poor trusting rat, just as he killed Teresa, even if she still drew breath somewhere in a future he'll never see now.

He sees now that he was running his own maze, the one his mother designed for him.

"I'm your son," he says, as if those words will change everything, change her. But there's no variable here. This is the end, just as she always knew it would be.

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Comments

( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
quiet_rebel
May. 1st, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
He sees now that he was running his own maze, the one his mother designed for him.
Oh, Daniel :(
halfdutch
May. 2nd, 2009 03:52 am (UTC)
The impact of his dying didn't really hit me until after the episode but yeah... :-(
snookscribbles
May. 1st, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
Perfect end to a poignant ficlet. Thank you for sharing.
halfdutch
May. 2nd, 2009 03:52 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, hon. *hands tissues*
toestastegood
May. 1st, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, Daniel. :(
halfdutch
May. 2nd, 2009 03:53 am (UTC)
;_: He definitely gives Charlie a run as Lost's most tragic character. :-(
gottalovev
May. 2nd, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
oh, awesome!!

I love

He sees now that he was running his own maze, the one his mother designed for him.


and.. well DAN! ;_;
halfdutch
May. 4th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
Thank you, hon. ♥ I think this is the first time I've ficced him, actually!
elise_509
May. 2nd, 2009 05:36 am (UTC)
He sees now that he was running his own maze, the one his mother designed for him.

"I'm your son," he says, as if those words will change everything, change her. But there's no variable here. This is the end, just as she always knew it would be.


YOU. AWESOME. YES.

:)

I'm not very articulate, but the gist is \o/ ILU for this little piece.
halfdutch
May. 4th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
Oh, so glad you liked this. ♥

I was taking his death in my stride as I figured it didn't really count... but after your comments, the impact of his dying, really dying, hit me hard. So, yeah, you definitely inspired this fic.
jemmalynette
May. 2nd, 2009 08:52 am (UTC)
*sniff* Poor Daniel! I loved this. I love how he thinks of Eloise the rat and this line:

He sees now that he was running his own maze, the one his mother designed for him.

Brilliant!
halfdutch
May. 4th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
Thank you. Poor Daniel, it's just not fair. :-(
elliotsmelliot
May. 2nd, 2009 10:30 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks for this. In such few words you provoked a lot of imagery and emotions. Like everyone, I loved the maze line.

I had forgotten that Dan had performed 'matricide' on his rat, yet he was also incredibly tender to that version of Eloise, even knowing he would put her at risk. So who is more cruel, Eloise with her drive and coldness or Dan whose cares so much and still puts animals and people at risk? That's a rhetorical question because clearly I think Dan is awesome and Eloise not so much. Still, the parallels you drew here made me think about how each of them sacrificed a lot. I hope we get to know Eloise's motivations because man who pushing Dan to go back was very Cooperish to me.
halfdutch
May. 4th, 2009 03:17 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, my dear. I had been assuming Daniel wasn't really dead dead, so I didn't have as big an emotional reaction to the episode when I was watching it. But as I thought it through after your and others' comments, the tragedy of it all just made me reel.

Daniel was definitely more compassionate than his mother and yet, he risked others' lives. There's no doubt he loved Eloise the rat (to a degree) and Teresa and yet his "destiny," as drummed into him by his mother, outweighed all those things.

His mother sending him to his death seems even more depraved than Cooper pushing Locke out the window: You know she loved her son while I think Cooper only saw Locke as someone else to use.

We'll miss Dan, definitely. :-/
motorcyclesfly
May. 2nd, 2009 04:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, poor Daniel!

For such a short ficlet, you have certainly captured the relationship between Daniel and Eloise beautifully. It gets across Eloise's straight-forward, unemotional nature very well, also. Very nice!
halfdutch
May. 4th, 2009 03:18 am (UTC)
Thank you! That is such wonderful feedback. That's just what I was trying to convey.
tellshannon815
May. 4th, 2009 11:45 am (UTC)
Loved the line about he maze, hadn't thought of it that way until now but you're right!
halfdutch
May. 9th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Once the idea occurred to me, it just seemed so apt.
missy_useless
May. 7th, 2009 12:58 pm (UTC)
[I'm late. Sorry.]

This is such a powerful ficlet - very in-character and tragic and beautifully written. Oh, Daniel. :(
halfdutch
May. 9th, 2009 07:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. I can't believe he's gone. :-(
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )

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