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Limericks for haldoor

Character-centric limericks for lostsquee Queen haldoor! You just had to go and mention limericks, didn't you?
Spoilers for S5!
Rating: G

There once was a man named Sawyer
Who made lonely, rich women purr
Once he took them to bed,
With their money he fled
Cuz that's what he was in it fer.

There once was a doctor named Jack
A mighty fine doc, that's a fact
A man of science,
Though not big on guidance
His motto: "We need to go back!"

There once was a man named Sayid
Who was skilled at making men bleed
The gun and the knife
Were tools of his life
But he could kill you with just his feet!

There was once a rich boy named Boone
Whose death was unfair and too soon.
His last words: "Tell Shannon"
He lives on in fanon
Still making fangirls (and Jack) swoon

There once was a Scots man named Hume
Who drank more than one ought consume
Though time he traveled
Its fabric unraveled
Until his blue shirt met its doom

There once was a man named Richard
Whom, to a strange island, was lured
We don't know quite when
But he's old as sin
Although that's just what we've heard

There once was a woman named Kate
Whom everyone just loved to hate
She was horribly torn
Since the day she was born
Whether to embrace Skate or Jate

There once was a woman named Sun
Who couldn't believe what she'd done
English, she learned
A husband, she spurned
Unsure, in her oven, whose bun?

There once was a dear chap named Pace
Who had slipped rather sharply from grace
He gave up the drugs
Said goodbye with hugs
And died for nothing, such a waste!

There once was a looney named Locke
Who, until recently, couldn't walk
It should really be said
That now he is dead
Or is that just a load of crock?

There once was a psychic named Miles
Who could hear the dead roaming the aisles
They'd tell him a lot
Like, big holes in the plot
Such as those ripped from The X-Files

There once was an Aussie named Claire
Who had long, beautiful blonde hair
She's now with her dad
Which isn't so bad
Though Aaron felt it rather unfair

There once was a young man named Daniel
Who was more than a little forgetful
We blame Eloise
Because, if you please,
She raised him to be sacrificeable



( 32 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 25th, 2009 06:52 am (UTC)
OMG! Do you know how much I love you!???

These are brilliant and exactly what I hoped to see! Thank you so much! *huggles you madly* My fave is the Sayid one, but all of them are great! ;-)
Jul. 25th, 2009 07:49 am (UTC)
Yay! I love that one the best too!

I couldn't sleep, so I've added one for Daniel. :)

There once was a young man named Daniel
Who was more than a little forgetful
We blame Eloise
Because, if you please,
She raised him to be sacrificeable

(Oops, icon change!)

Edited at 2009-07-25 07:49 am (UTC)
Jul. 25th, 2009 07:53 am (UTC)
Hee! That one's awesome too! You're a regular Spike Milligan, aren't you? I love to write limericks too, but none of mine seem anywhere near as good lately, and of course you have to be in the mood to do them real justice! I did a Ben one which was okay (I thought)... shall I show you?
Jul. 25th, 2009 07:55 am (UTC)
Oh yes, I'd love to see a Ben one.I didn't even try to write one!
Jul. 25th, 2009 07:58 am (UTC)
Hee! Not sure it's as good as any of yours, but i came up with this one the other day when I was thinking about what to ask for on my queen day:

There was a strange man named Ben
Who had quite a way with his men
Oh he could deceive
Like you wouldn't believe
And I wouldn't trust him with children
Jul. 25th, 2009 08:02 am (UTC)
Oh, that's awesome!! :) And perfectly Ben! Love it!
Jul. 25th, 2009 08:13 am (UTC)
Thank you! ;-)
Jul. 25th, 2009 12:00 pm (UTC)
Hee! OMG, the limerick bug bit you hard! These are all great, but I especially like Boone's, Desmond's, Kate's (made me quite literally burst out laughing - and there are people around), and Sun's. Oh yeah, I really liked the one for Miles too.

Are they like potato chips for you? Can't do 'em myself, the haiku-bug is what usually bites me, and it's very much a can't-eatwrite-just-one thing.
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
Hee, it DID bite me hard! :) Very happy that I got a laugh out of these. Not everyone's storyline lends itself to a punchline.

I think these might be my very first limericks, actually, but once I got going, I was having so much fun I figured I'd do a few more!
Jul. 25th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)

Jul. 25th, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC)
These are incredible! I love Kate, Sun and Sayid - fabulous job :)
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I think the Sun one might be my favorite! :) I should attempt a Juliet one!
Jul. 25th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
LOL - fantastic work!!!!! :D
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon! I had fun doing them. :)
Jul. 26th, 2009 04:14 am (UTC)

These are GENIUS! I would quote back excellent lines but there are too many!
Jul. 26th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC)
Hee, thank you! :) I had a lot of fun with them!
Jul. 26th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
Loved them all!
Jul. 27th, 2009 02:35 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)
Jul. 26th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
those are AWESOME! wow! lol! go you!
Jul. 27th, 2009 02:36 am (UTC)
Hee, thank you, darlin'! :) They were fun.
Jul. 27th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
HEEEE!!! These are amazing!!

Kate's and Boone's are totally my favorites, though, just because they're TRUE. :)
Jul. 28th, 2009 04:34 am (UTC)
Thank you! Hee, they are too true, aren't they? :)
Jul. 27th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
These are amazing. It would be hard to pick a favourite because each one is so perfect. If there was a career in limericks, you could be CEO of the world. Genius.
Jul. 28th, 2009 04:34 am (UTC)
Oh wow! *bows* Thank you so much, hon! They were so much fun to write!
Jul. 27th, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
MUAHAHAH THESE ARE THE AWESOME. Oh dear, I cracked up at each single one of them, but guess what...

There was once a rich boy named Boone
Whose death was unfair and too soon.
His last words: "Tell Shannon"
He lives on in fanon
Still making fangirls (and Jack) swoon

This = BEST THING EVER. Oh damn, I want to make icons out of them, they are ALL so good. The Richard, Jack and Desmond ones were also made of TOTAL gold material.
Jul. 28th, 2009 04:35 am (UTC)
Awww! I had to throw that one in there as haldoor said she was a fan of Jack/Boone. And who isn't? :)

And icons! *bounces* I would be incredibly honored!
Jul. 31st, 2009 03:41 pm (UTC)

They just kept getting better! I thought that Sayid was my favorite 'til I read Boone...then Desmond, then Richard, and Sun's is downright funny.

You've managed to make canon fun!
Aug. 2nd, 2009 04:11 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! So glad you liked them this much! :)
Aug. 25th, 2009 09:03 am (UTC)
Holy crap! I never knew you had this amazing talent! You've been holding out on us. These are awesome! Somehow the Sun one just had me in fits. :)
Aug. 28th, 2009 02:37 am (UTC)
Wow, thanks! These might be the first limericks I've ever written! I think I drew on my love of Edward Gorey, who excelled at them. The Sun one is one of my faves too.
Aug. 28th, 2009 05:22 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, YOU WIN THE INTERNETZ. This is brilliant! I love the Sun "Unsure, in her oven, whose bun?" line and Sayid and Charlie's verses in particular. You rock so hard! ♥
( 32 comments — Leave a comment )


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