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Alter Ego Fic

Title: Alter Ego
Summary: Just having fun with the Lost dramatis personae
Category: AU
Rating: PG-13
Note: This idea came to me out of the blue, so I typed it up, pronto, and here it is. Not like anything I usually write. But now I'm wondering if maybe someone has already done something along these lines. Hmm. Very possible. Let me know, if so!


Sawyer was one of his favorite alter egos. When he was the Southern hellraiser, he’d harass people, bait them into arguments, taunt them openly. He’d flirt suggestively with the women and trash talk the men. He knew he’d provoked more than one person to tears. Being Sawyer meant the day’s insults rolled right off him as he finally had the perfect comeback, multiplied by a force of about ten. As Sawyer he could say things he’d never actually dare to say to anyone. And that was fantastically freeing.

---

Kate was a saucy minx he’d trot out for special occasions. She was a little bit like Sawyer, but more mysterious, less direct. She was flirtatious but never offensive, and there was a power to the way she lured people in, lying to them, telling them what they wanted to hear, getting them all hot, and then simply disappearing.

--

Being Charlie was like writing a “Dear Penthouse” letter. Sex, drugs and rock’n’ roll excess. Orgies. Three-ways. Parties that lasted for days. He’d boast about all of them, but putting it all in the past and emphasizing how he was now clean and sober. It made him seem more vulnerable and the needy women who wanted to take care of an ex-junkie ate it up. And women always dug guys with British accents.

--


As Sun, he would massacre his words, typing what he guessed a beautiful Korean woman with limited knowledge of the English language would. One who really wanted to leave her husband if she could find the right sympathetic guy. Photos helped. They were always demure, fully dressed, eyes downcast, but he’d hint that as soon as a new man was in the picture, that would all change.

--

To really switch things up, sometimes he liked to be Sayid, the cool, brilliant Iraqi soldier who would elegantly tell off ignorant American idiots. One of his favorite things to do was to sign on as Sawyer, sign off, and sign back on as Sayid and then pick a fight with himself. The redneck and the foreigner, always at each other’s throats. It was like a good game of chess.

--

Shannon was another deliciously bitchy personality. He’d post her photo, let all the guys drool, and then insult them as only a beauty like that could and still get away with it. She drew a certain kind of masochistic loser who thought a girl like that would actually give him the time of day. Hinting that her heart really belonged to brother dearest, well that only made being Shannon that much more fun.

--

With Boone, well, he was always surprised how many people could relate to Boone's unholy lust for his sister. Maybe they were all just lying to each other, but swapping dirty stories about spying on a sister or a cousin or a niece in the bathroom actually saved him a lot of money.

--

Every so often, he liked to be Hurley, everyone’s stereotype of the guy who’d be online at 3 in the morning. Overweight, pop-culture obsessed, shy around women. He’d bond with all the other seemingly honest nerds and trade Star Trek jokes and remember what it was like to be 24 and think someday, something interesting is going to happen to me.

But John Locke knew better. At 52, his days of hoping for something interesting to happen were long over. He sighed, turned off the computer, and went to bed. After all, he had work in the morning.

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:53 pm (UTC)
Re: V. good!
Thanks! Glad you liked.
desdema
Jan. 31st, 2005 07:00 am (UTC)
very cool. i like this a lot!
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC)
:-)
totalimmoral
Jan. 31st, 2005 08:14 am (UTC)
I love this and the end totally took me by suprise!
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thanks.
guineverekay
Jan. 31st, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
you got me
I kinda knew what was going on...but I didn't know who it was...I was thinking maybe JJ Abrams lol.

PS
I'll try to finish up the beta for part 10 today for you.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
Re: you got me
Ha, I guess it could have been JJ. I just pictured Locke sitting alone in his room and voila!

Good news about the beta! Plotting the next chapters is getting tricky. Oy!
yndigot
Jan. 31st, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC)
That was like ... whoa. I wasn't sure who it was that was impersonating them all, and it was crazy surprising ... although, I suppose I should have expected it from Locke. Hmm. He is a little twisted, isn't he?
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I was thinking people would guess it was Hurley, so I threw him in there at the very end. And yes, Locke *is* twisted.
yndigot
Jan. 31st, 2005 10:16 pm (UTC)
I should have seen it when you made the comment about saving money--Locke with his phone sex. I'm not sure who I thought it was. I didn't quite think it was Hurley ... I think I amlmost thought it was Sawyer, but not quite. The first one being the *real* Sawyer he was impersonating and then he went on to impersonate the others. hmm...
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 10:56 pm (UTC)
Well there are a lot of people on the show lying about their true identities, aren't there? :->
yndigot
Jan. 31st, 2005 11:04 pm (UTC)
It does seem disturbingly common.
supersyncspaz7
Jan. 31st, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
Holy shit. That is brilliant. Didn't think that it'd be Locke at the end, though.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you! From what I read, I think men like Locke are the most typical online predators. I was just thinking of him having no life and that maybe he needed another diversion besides making the 1-900 calls!
sapphirewoman
Jan. 31st, 2005 08:11 pm (UTC)
This made me fall over laughing, then stop and think for awhile. (Rare for me.) I especially loved the line "And women always dug guys with British accents."
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 09:29 pm (UTC)
Wow, funny *and* thought-provoking. I hit the jackpot! Glad you liked.
untappedbeauty
Jan. 31st, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
Very cool. It's interesting to see this from the PoV of what Locke was like pre-island. A mixture of amusing, depressing, and creepy. I never know quite what to make of that man.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2005 10:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Locke did have such a depressing life, pre-island. He seemed Most Likely to Shoot Up His Workplace One Day, if that's even feasible in a wheelchair! After the Boone thing I sure wouldn't trust him farther than I could throw him.
lightcommastix
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:04 am (UTC)
This is really great and unexpected and weird and well-done. Good job.
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2005 06:33 am (UTC)
Thank you! It was partly inspired by getting on LJ and feeling like I'm chatting with all the Lost characters via everyone's icons! (And I did have a fever when I wrote it. Hmmm.) ;->
luckinfovely
Feb. 1st, 2005 07:55 am (UTC)
This was, at the risk of sounding overzealous, fantabulous! (And it didn't even have Jack in it.) Very clever.

I suppose Locke would do something like that, which makes it kinda sad and depressing, and maybe a little creepy. But very, very well done!

See? I'm giving feedback, maybe not constructive feedback, but feedback nonetheless!
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
Wow, thanks! I thought about having Jack in it, but I figured maybe he was too straight and narrow to appeal to Locke as an alter ego. Having a doctor persona online made me think of Clive Owen in "Closer," though. He has a really unforgettable online sex chat in that film (not that I'm really recommending it.)

And all feedback is great! If you have something constructive to say, that's good, but simply saying you liked it, well I'm certainaly not averse to that either! Not at all. :->
ada_farrow
Feb. 2nd, 2005 12:09 am (UTC)
Love it, love it! I like that it's Locke, because it playes into his weird, omnipotent nature.
halfdutch
Feb. 2nd, 2005 01:26 am (UTC)
Thanks! He is kind of like a pupper master, isn't he?
legalblonde2005
Feb. 12th, 2005 02:17 am (UTC)
Wow, terrific piece.
halfdutch
Feb. 12th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
foxxcub
Mar. 25th, 2005 08:23 pm (UTC)
Dude. You'll never guess how I found this fic (and I can't believe I've never read it!!): I was on the fanfic boards at TWoP and someone had a link simply titled "Unexpected AU". So I thought, huh, okay... and here I am!! ;D You're the kewlest, hee!!
halfdutch
Mar. 29th, 2005 01:19 am (UTC)
That is cool! I came across that rec a while back and my heart skipped a beat when I saw it. Always great to be rec'd! ;-) Glad you liked it! It was one of those out-of-left-field ideas.
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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