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Cradle (Jack/Sawyer) PG-13

Title: Cradle
Pairings: Jack/Sawyer, Kate/Sawyer, Ana/Eko
Summary: All he has to offer is his hands.
Spoilers: Up through "The Other 48 Hours" and promos for "Collision"
Rating: PG
Word count: 403
Note: For fanfic100 prompt "Shapes."
Feedback: Going unbetaed once more. Just wanted to get this idea out there. So, yes please!

He steps out of the hatch, just for a minute. He needs air.

Jack’s staggered by the coolness that meets him. It's hard to believe this is still going on, dark night and brilliant cold stars and the pulsing throb of the island all around him. The jungle sprawls out in all directions. The low murmur of insects, the scent of distant fires. It feels unreal.

He has no idea how long he's been working over Sawyer. Hours. Days. The lights in the hatch make it eternally daylight. The same day. A day that won't end until ... he stops himself from completing that thought.

Nothing left to do for Sawyer. Nothing left. He's hollowed out. Given everything he has. Out of his hands now.

Sawyer’s been dying for days. It’s too late, he thinks with one breath, and with the next, he tells himself there’s still hope.

He leaves Sawyer with Kate. She begged him to let her help and this is all he can let her do. She doesn't wait until he's left to climb into bed with Sawyer, to hold him against her and rock him and speak to him in low, reassuring tones, as if he were her child. Or her lover.

It won't help. Sawyer can't hear her. Can't feel her.

He thinks numbly that he needs rest, that he should turn back inside and sleep. He's no good to anyone like this.

His legs propel him forward, even as he decides he shouldn't go far.

He stops when he sees a patch of bare skin, dark in some spots, pale in others. He doesn't know what he's seeing at first, until he hears sobbing. The shapes before him suddenly pull apart and he realizes what he's been seeing. Eko is holding Ana in his arms and she's crying.

He wants to run at them, scream, draw blood.

Instead he backs up, as quietly as he can. He's intruding. He's not welcome here, not needed back in the hatch.

Not knowing why he does it, he stays and watches these two strangers - brutal people who’ve hurt and killed his friends - watches how Eko cradles Ana. In his massive arms, she seems fragile, tiny. Broken.

He looks down at his own arms. It should be him in there, holding Sawyer.

All he has to offer is his hands. Even if he had his arms to give, it wouldn’t be enough.

Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
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themoononastick
Nov. 18th, 2005 08:58 am (UTC)
It's kind of early for me to be attempting coherent thought (so I shall come back later and try again) but I just wanted to say that I think this is just beautiful. It aches so much that its almost painful to read - but in a good way, a very good way. (see I told you me + early mornings = a bad thing!).
What I'm trying to say is that I love it.


halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)
Awww, and I wrote it quite late, so I guess that balances out, LOL.

You kill me with this kind of fb.

THANK YOU! *smooch*
misse1977
Nov. 18th, 2005 11:04 am (UTC)
OMG. I love you, you know that? What an amazing writer you are.

I would give my right arm to have this scenario in the next episode. Because its good and angsty and better than the writers of Lost could ever do.

"Sawyer´s been dying for days. It´s to late..."

That is such a terrific line. I want it! I want to hear Jack say those words! (but off-course without REALLY giving up)

GAAAH, I hope they make this episode right!
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:07 am (UTC)
Oh, awww, thank you so much.

better than the writers of Lost could ever do.

BLUSH! But of course we have the same tastes and want to see the same things. ;-D

No, Jack would never give up on Sawyer. Not even when it's hopeless. I really hope we get some doctorly devotion like we got with Boone here. A girl can dream, right?

(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:08 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks. We'll always have the fics at least, even if we don't get enough Concerned!Doting!Jack to satisfy us on the show.
alliecat8
Nov. 18th, 2005 01:39 pm (UTC)
Kate cradling Sawyer...Eko cradling Ana...

Jack will feel better if he goes and cradels Sawyer, too. This one reminded me of my Shooting Stars...he doens't know what else to do, he's helpless and only want to give up, because he has nothing more to give. So sad.

alliecat8
Nov. 18th, 2005 01:41 pm (UTC)
Please forgive typos, I'm stoned on cough medicine and can't see AT ATT!
(no subject) - alliecat8 - Nov. 18th, 2005 01:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfdutch - Nov. 19th, 2005 06:12 am (UTC) - Expand
demonqueen666
Nov. 18th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
Aww man...the cradling, and the dying, and the wanting, and the needing, and the beautiful beautiful angst...

Perfect.
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:13 am (UTC)
Awww, thank you hon. *snuggles*
ficangel
Nov. 18th, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC)
*wibbles* This was lovely.
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:14 am (UTC)
*beams*

Thank you!
iamalreadyinuse
Nov. 18th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
That was great. Loved the tone and the almost lyrical narrative of it, I guess. Nice job with it :)
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:16 am (UTC)
Thank you! ;-D Makes me very happy to hear you like how it turned out.
gottalovev
Nov. 18th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC)
Great job. Poor Jack, made me feel for him. Thank you

now I'm going to find the american promo, because we didn't see the Skate in ours, and I cannot stand it anymore
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:17 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks!

And if you haven't found it yet, I'd check txvoodoo's LJ. She usually has all the promos. And this one is amazing, if you're a Skate fan!
holycitygirl
Nov. 18th, 2005 09:42 pm (UTC)
GREATEST ending lines EVER.

I've declared it. Don't even bother being modest. Make yourself a sign "Writer of the GREATEST ending lines EVER".

Wear it wherever you go.

halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:18 am (UTC)
OMG!

*flails*

I actually reworked those a few times so YAY! Ending lines are tough, aren't they? I always have trouble ending a fic so THANK YOU THANK YOU!

*giggles, wears sign under shirt*
(no subject) - holycitygirl - Nov. 19th, 2005 06:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfdutch - Nov. 19th, 2005 06:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
ellel
Nov. 18th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
*sighs*
Jack should go in and hold Sawyer,he will feel better.Sawyer's wound will heal and he'll be hell to deal with,when he is back and himself again-there will be new nicknames,hero jokes,making fun of every Jack's move...(right?)
me,optimistic.
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:20 am (UTC)
Awww, yes. I hope that's what we get on the show! Some tender loving care and then the return of the snark, but with that undercurrent of friendship -- and a hint of something more. ;-D

And if we don't get that, dammit, we'll have to supply it ourselves!
(no subject) - ellel - Nov. 20th, 2005 09:18 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - halfdutch - Nov. 27th, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
eponine119
Nov. 19th, 2005 03:12 am (UTC)
Oh, this hits just the right note. The explanation of why Jack leaves Sawyer with Kate, and also the very nice contrast with the image of Eko holding Ana.
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:24 am (UTC)
Thanks! Those two images were my inspiration - and of course we all want to know why it's not Jack holding Sawyer! ;-D

I actually think he's *not* good at comfort. Even if he were in love with Sawyer, I can still see him leaving the comfort to someone else. I'm trying to recall when he's hugged anyone on the show and I'm thinking maybe just Michael before the raft sailed. Maybe Charlie, when he saved his life. Damn, I'd love to see that level of intensity over Sawyer but with a long vigil, and everything else going on ... not likely, sadly.

(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Nov. 19th, 2005 06:41 pm (UTC)
Awww, that's so nice to hear! I've always been a fan of Matthew Fox, so that's what got me into the show before I knew who this Josh fellow was. ;-D And "Do No Harm" and Intense!IWillSaveYou!Jack really deepened my love for the character.

And he's much more interesting with Sawyer than Kate, I think. Hence the reason why I write so much J/S and so little J/K, LOL.

And nice to meet you! ;-D

(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Nov. 20th, 2005 08:17 am (UTC)
OH, BLUSH! ;-D Thank you! *points to huge grin you've given me*

Yeah, Jack/Sawyer can't get any more canonical than Exodus. Which was -- thank God -- one of the slashiest things I've ever seen on TV. I'd LOVE them to continue at the level, and THEN they can segue to the Skate. *crosses fingers*





foxxcub
Nov. 20th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC)
Ooohh, hon, this is so lovely. It's Jack comfort, but in a totally new light.

*loves*

And OMG ANA ISN'T TEH BITCH!! ;D
halfdutch
Nov. 20th, 2005 08:28 am (UTC)
Awwww. *luffs you*

OMG ANA ISN'T TEH BITCH!! ;D

Ha, who knew? ;-D I just liked that image of Eko holding her while she cried. And of course, the parallel with Kate holding Sawyer and voila, fic! Glad you approve! *still holding out hope for SOME J/S this week*

(And here I am playing icon roulette by replying -- we'll see if one of my own icons turns up or not, LOL. LJ is tres wonky today.)
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Nov. 20th, 2005 07:08 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, I'm so flattered. Thank you! And welcome to the wonderful world of Jack/Sawyer! ;-D

If you need any recs, I'll be glad to point you towards some of my favorite fics.
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