halfdutch (halfdutch) wrote,

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Reread BBM

I read BBM again last night, including the prologue, for the first time, now that I have the whole "Close Range" book. (Thanks to foxxcub!)

Some lines really got me this time, like Ennis having Thanksgiving dinner with Alma's new family and "trying not to be a sad daddy" to his girls. :-( Because he has to work so hard at it, that just killed me. As anyone who has ever worked hard not to be sad, that really got me.

And then THE SCENE in both the book and the film, Jack's memory of Ennis coming up from behind him and hugging him as he's nearly asleep on his feet:

Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see nor feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they'd never got much farther than that. Let be, let be.

He thinks that Ennis never wanted him, not really! :-( Somehow, with the beauty of that scene in the film and Jack's aching nostalgia for it, I'd missed or forgotten that there's that bitterness, even in that one moment that Jack has singled out as the time he was completely happy with Ennis. GAH! So you think he thought that at the time, or only later, with the bitterness and resentment of the years?

*sniffs* And once again, I'm in complete admiration of how skillful the film adaptation was.
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