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Warm Bed (Jack/Sawyer - R)

Title: Warm Bed
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Summary: Two men, one hatch, one button, one eternity
Rating: R
Note: Just trying to jump-start the muse again. This one's a bit of an AU. For the fanfic100 prompt "When"
Word Count: 1368


The siren was blaring again and Jack disentangled himself from Sawyer and shuffled sleepily off to enter the numbers.

For the thousandth time, he wondered why it was set for 108 minutes, so that neither of them could ever get a full eight hours’ sleep. Like the button was a baby waking in the middle of the night and he was the designated mother, the one who got up to tend to it most of the time. Maybe it was a throwback to his days as a resident, that he was able to cope, zombielike, with the lack of sleep.

Sawyer somehow managed to keep sleeping, or pretend he was sleeping anyway. Sure, he’d lost his hearing in one ear, but that wasn’t really it. Jack was convinced that without him, Sawyer would have let the damn thing go off already. Without him, Sawyer would never have lasted this long.

Without Sawyer, neither would he.

He wanted to stop pushing it. When he dreamt, it wasn’t of being back home, or of anything before being sealed up in this hatch with a complete stranger. It was of being here, right here, only being able to get a full night’s sleep, for once, of not having to respond to the wailing, insistent call of the button.

The two of them had fallen into a routine easily enough. Check the latest shipments, enter the code, eat, shower, enter the code, sleep, enter the code, go back to sleep, wake, only to do it all over again.

It came easier to Jack, who’d always been a creature of habit; he’d been bound by a myriad duties in his working and personal life, things he couldn’t ever run away from, had never even dreamed of running out on. And then they were all gone: his job ended in disgrace, his wife left him for another man, his father dead, his mother declaring him dead to her. He’d made his choice, prison or this. In a moment of insanity or willfulness, he’d “volunteered” for this mission.

He knew it was the same with Sawyer, that he could have gone to jail and had ended up here instead. He’d never gotten all the particulars. He hadn’t asked. They didn’t talk about their pasts. No point in talking about the future. There was only now.

Sawyer only found out Jack was a doctor after he’d nearly shot his ear off. Jack said nothing, just fixed him as best he could, honored by the simple, animal-like trust that Sawyer showed him as he let him pick buckshot out of his face and his mangled ear.

He didn’t know why the guns were even here. Nothing could get in and they couldn’t get out. Not until their time was up, and that time had already come and gone long ago. He’d changed the combination to the gun room and Sawyer had tried it once and then given up.

From the expert, familiar way Sawyer had handled the guns, taking each one apart, rolling the bullets in his hand like he could read his fortune off them, he got part of his answer as to who Sawyer had been before. It was all the answer he was ever going to get.

The rest he made up, watching him day after day. Sawyer wasn’t the type who liked being cooped up. After he’d explored every inch of the hatch, probed it for a vulnerabiltity, for an opening to ... whatever was out there, he had pounded his fists bloody against the concrete walls. It was worse, because he hadn’t screamed, hadn’t cursed. He’d been completely silent and then just sat there in a broken heap, bloodied hands forgotten. Sawyer wouldn’t look at him while Jack had bandaged his hands. Jack took over his duties. Fed him. Read to him. Helped him dress and undress, with Sawyer as sullen and uncooperative as a teenager.

When Sawyer’s hands healed, he never resumed his share of the duties. Just read all the books in the library over and over until his glasses broke. Listened to the records with a faraway look. Jack wished he would talk again. He liked the sound of Sawyer’s voice, the charm of it, deep, rich and with that honeyed accent, but then again, after all this time, he’d love anyone’s voice that wasn’t his own.

At first, they had alternated sleeping shifts and traded off shower times, but they had slowly gravitated to eating at the same time, sleeping at the same time, tag-teaming use of the shower, even though that meant whoever went second had no hot water.

As he lay in bed, waiting for the next siren’s shriek, he’d hear Sawyer’s muffled moans above him, and he tried to ignore him, simultaneously aroused and saddened that they were the only sounds he made anymore. He should have just gone to the shower and jacked off in private. But instead, he reached for his own cock, training himself to breathe like Sawyer did, come when Sawyer did. He tried not to make any noise, but soon he gave up the pretense. Sawyer never let on that he heard him, never gave him a look during the day, never spied on him in the shower.

Then one night he climbed down the ladder and into Jack’s bed. He grabbed Jack roughly by the wrists, holding them over his head. He was breathing hard and Jack could see the gleam of his eyes in the dark.

His own heart was pounding, but Sawyer didn’t speak, just kept hold of his wrists with one hand, while trailing the other down Jack’s side. Jack arched up, into Sawyer’s waiting palm. He bit his tongue as Sawyer explored his body, wishing Sawyer would say something. He’d always been a little afraid of Sawyer. He was the real criminal, the hard-timer, while Jack was just a drunk who’d made a mistake. He’d imagined Sawyer shooting himself, shooting Jack. Choking, stabbing, any way Sawyer could hurt himself or Jack, Jack had thought about it.

He’d thought of this too, Sawyer grabbing him, forcing him ... except that Jack had been waiting for this, wanting it as bad as he wanted to breathe fresh air again. His head fell back and he moaned Sawyer’s name over and over, like it was a prayer, like Sawyer could deliver him from this hell.

He moaned his name again as Sawyer’s mouth came down, hot and wet and tasting so much fucking better than Jack had dreamt. Sawyer’s hand was rough but his tongue was light and teasing and Jack couldn’t hold out any longer. “’Bout time,” he gasped, right before he came, body jerking hard under Sawyer’s touch, reliving the feel of the ocean’s pull, the blinding glare of the sun. For that split second, he was free again.

Sawyer let out a low chuckle and let go of Jack’s hands and then Jack grabbed him and kissed him hard, like he might get away if he didn’t pin him up against the wall, didn’t breathe his name as he tasted his skin, as he memorized every part of him.

Sex became their new routine -- they fucked everywhere they could, every way they could think of, blotting out the hatch and the button and their fucked-up pasts that had brought them here.

Jack knew Sawyer would tire of him first. Knew Sawyer was the type to break hearts, to cut and run. Knew he’d never get a shot at someone like him back in the real world.

So he waited, for Sawyer to go back to his own bunk, or to slit his throat, or Jack’s. He’d stopped asking “why” long ago -- why him, why here, why he should keep pushing the button, why there was even a button at all. Now, it was just a question of “when.”

When Jack got back to bed, Sawyer was still asleep on his right side, the side with the good ear. He nudged him over, pulled the blanket back up over both of them. A warm bed. It was more than he had back home, he realized, and he smiled into the dark. And then he went back to sleep for another 105 minutes.

Comments

( 56 comments — Leave a comment )
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isis2015
Mar. 17th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC)
Wow....wow. I lack for words. Oh, wait, here are some. I really loved this. What a great idea. I loved the way it was told, the way it started near the end, took you through past events, and lead you back to the end again. I love out of sequence fics. The style has always worked well for me. :D

Great work hun. As always.
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:22 am (UTC)
Thank you. I'm so glad you liked the idea and the way it was told. ;-D And I'm glad I actually *had* an idea that wanted to be written.

*kiss*
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:22 am (UTC)
Thank you!
hkath
Mar. 17th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC)
Ooooh, good idea. This was dark and kinda creepy with almost a cruel hint of sweetness at the end. I really liked that. Their relationship is very different--much more closed off, which is interesting. Strange that being isolated together, they know far less about each other than they do in canon. Or at least it seems that way.
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
Thanks, hon! I guess I had the idea they'd both be too resentful and shut-down to just sit and chat about things so I'm glad that worked for you.

And the ending -- maybe it was odd to end on that upbeat note, but I liked the idea that Jack would cling to what temporary happiness he had. Poor Jack, we're always making his lot in life so much worse in teh fic!
eponine119
Mar. 17th, 2006 05:57 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. I just loved this. It's SO dark. I really like the subtle shading on the AU, too. Not just the tiny details scattered here and there, gradually revealing the bigger picture, but that it's such a subtle twist on a scenario that's been done so often in fic -- Jack and Sawyer in the hatch, oh really? -- but it changes everything.

How broken Sawyer is here is just agonizing, too. That he won't speak, and the rest. Likewise Jack's longing for him. How he knows Sawyer will tire of him first hit me harder than the rest, I think, because it's not just a question of when, but what happens then.
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:31 am (UTC)
I'm so pleased you liked it! It's a small twist, really, but I was happy to seize upon a slightly different angle for the tried-and-true J/S hatch!fic.

I think I borrowed Sawyer here a bit from "The Interview," in his just being so hopeless. And Jack, poor Jack. We love to break him, don't we? As much as we like to smoosh them together and call it a happy ending (well, not you so much, LOL), neither one of them is really built for longterm relationships so forced cohabitation would just fall dramatically apart at some point.
gottalovev
Mar. 17th, 2006 02:53 pm (UTC)
so sad, and yet so beautiful. and hot.
Sawyer would be like a caged animal in that hatch, and I feel for poor Jack, with his own despair.
Happy that you putted a bit of somewhat happiness at the end.
*hugs*
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon. It is a pretty bleak scenario but I think they could find a moment or two of happiness.
prettybutt
Mar. 17th, 2006 04:12 pm (UTC)
angst ridden? hell yes, that was very cool-i think someone else said dark, and it was. I love angst and i love how you characterize both men. The ending gave me the chills-and i want more-l
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! *points at LJ name* Yeah, angst, that's me! LOL.
inthekeyofd
Mar. 17th, 2006 04:20 pm (UTC)
You write angst so freakin' well. Seriously, this is ONE OF THE BEST HATCH STORIES EVER! And yep, I had to use the capslock of doom because I am adamant about it.

Just that feeling of confinement..it was palpable, and Sawyer's frustration and Jack's knowing how Sawyer is, or could be, just glorious.

This is just EXCELLENT!!
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:05 pm (UTC)
Wow! The caplocks of doom?! Thanks so much, hon! I'm honored! ;-D
ficangel
Mar. 17th, 2006 04:41 pm (UTC)
Very nice. The jumps between almost sweet at the beginning to downright eerie by the end-really effective mood.
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you, ma'am! *bows*
foxxcub
Mar. 17th, 2006 04:52 pm (UTC)
O_____O

....

Oh my. I just...oh my. That was hot and bitter sweet and only one line of dialogue in the whole thing! Some of your best work love, holy shit.

*reads again*
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:14 pm (UTC)
Wow! *SMOOCH* Thanks so much, babe. *beams*

Just a tiny little idea I had, that I wanted to play out. God, it's nice when a fic just comes together, for once!



(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:15 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you! I'm not quite sure how the idea came to me, but once I did, I knew I had to do something with it.

Thanks so much for the lovely fb. ;-D
holycitygirl
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC)
OOoh and who was complainin about "no new ideas" the other day? ;) lol.

Fabulous. And GUH. I totally missed Sawyer's banter just like Jack. The clausterphobia and cabinfever totally translated.

*loves*
halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
Hee, that's me. Maybe the venting helped? LOL. ;-D This idea hit me the other night as I was falling asleep (as always seems to happen).

And so glad you liked it! Quiet Sawyer makes me sad too.

*loves back*
arabella_hope
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
rolling the bullets in his hand like he could read his fortune off them.. that was just beautiful. His head fell back and he moaned Sawyer’s name over and over, like it was a prayer, like Sawyer could deliver him from this hell. this too!

So good. I love the idea of the hatch as an alternative to a jail, and even though it could be worse, the two of them together...much sexier than Kelvin and Desmond. Good on you! I enjoyed this alot.


halfdutch
Mar. 17th, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you, hon!

And yes, much sexier than Kelvin and Desmond! Although we know those two were definitely getting it on in the hatch. What else was there to do? They should have just put a double bed in there instead of the bunk. ;-D
nehellania
Mar. 17th, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC)
Well that was different. I really love the scenario though. It's sort of dark and I can almost feel Sawyer's sense of panic, of being trapped when usually, he'd run. And Jack just sort of stuck in limbo, waiting for something to happen, and the monotony of their existence. Wow. It wasn't incredibly long, but it packed a hell of a punch in a sort of understated way.

Also, I love your header. It's gorgeous.
halfdutch
Mar. 18th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! ;-D I had just been feeling that there was nothing new to do with Jack and Sawyer, so I'm glad you felt it was different.

And I just loved those beach shots of Josh & Matt, so thanks for that too.
ellel
Mar. 17th, 2006 08:59 pm (UTC)
sad and dark and depressing-but so well-written!Loved the idea of them being trapped in a hatch as a punishment and alternative to prison.And Sawyer should never be silent,with voice like his he should be talking...

Jack knew Sawyer would tire of him first.Knew Sawyer was the type to break hearts,to cut and run.Knew he’d never get a shot at someone like him back in the real world.
see,Jack feeling this way is sad.
*sighs*


halfdutch
Mar. 18th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I know, it is a bleak one. *pets you and poor Jack*
mikou
Mar. 17th, 2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
Wonderful! I love the bleakness and desperation of their situation and how Jack is hanging on to something positive. Thanks.
halfdutch
Mar. 18th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks so much!
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