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Just got back from seeing Pirates...


Dear God, that was terrible! I had to force myself to stay 'til the end. Just ... GAH! How could they fuck it up so badly? I was sick of Davy Jones and his crew after two minutes. Waaay too much crappy CGI, all around. And...

WTF with all the random mixing of mythology? Davy Jones's ship is the Flying Dutchman? Umm, no. And the Kraken? Why not bring in Poseidon and the Sirens and maybe Loki and Thor while you're at it?

There were moments I enjoyed, here and there, like the threeway sword fight (heh) but overall, just a horrible mess. I also couldn't understand half of what anyone was saying.

I did think that the East Indian Trading Co. guy made a good villain. He was Mr. Collins in Pride & Prejudice and an ineffectual relative needing money in Gosford Park. And he also reminds me of George on Grey's Anatomy, LOL.

So yeah, count me out for the sequel. :-( I'm really glad I only paid $5 for this.



( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
And he also reminds me of George on Grey's Anatomy, LOL.

I SWEAR to GOD, I stared and stared for the first minute he was on screen, all "It CAN'T be. I would have know if T.R. was gonna be in this!"
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:48 am (UTC)
Hee, I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking that! ;-) I took me half of P&P to recognize that actor from Gosford Park so this time I knew immediately. Still don't know his name though, heh.

The movie started off so well, and then started to lose it with the cannibals. (They're going to eat the dog? How is that funny? And in a Disney movie? Also with the graphic eyepecking. Meh.)

Jul. 8th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
In the middle, I was honestly pondering when I would see barnicle men slash :/

Amd YEAH. The hell - that freaked me out. What exactly was the point of that whole dark castle bit?

I just...kinda want to make out with Elizabeth in drag. That doesn't make me a bad person, does it? ;p
Jul. 8th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
That was odd. It looked like Maleficent's castle from Sleeping Beauty. Which is cool but ... out of place!

Hee, no, that doesn't. There was some nice eyecandy in the film. At least it had that going for it.
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
I liked it alright. But I'm with you on Davy Jones. He got old really fast.
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC)
And he's in the next film too, I take it. Davy himself was ok, but his barnacled crew really wore out their welcome. I'll take skeleton pirates anyay instead. :-/ This one just wasn't very fun.
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh, that sucks. I was hoping the bad reviews I was seeing in the press would turn out to not be accurate. I never expected to like the first one, but it was such silly fun, I was hoping they could pull that off again.
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:51 am (UTC)
Well, I hope I've done you a service by bringing your expectations down. I didn't really read reviews ahead of time but I brought my EW to the movie and saw the "D+" review and was like, "Oh, that reviewer just doesn't like action movies." But i have to agree with her. I seriously wanted to leave after 45 minutes. It seemed endless. All the characters got on my nerves. Urgh. :-(
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:28 am (UTC)
Now I don't feel too bad about waiting to see it.

Sometimes the accents, while they go for authentic, you end up not being able to understand a word they say.

I loved the first one and will still see this one, but still, thank you for the warning!!
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:52 am (UTC)
Whatever you do, don't pay full price. It starts off well enough but then it just all goes south really quickly. There's too much going on. Definite case of sequelitis. :-(
Jul. 8th, 2006 04:26 am (UTC)
Aww, sorry it sucked for you. As I actually didn't like the first one, at all, I can't even imagine what I'd think of this one then, lol!
Jul. 8th, 2006 04:59 am (UTC)
Aww, not a Depp fan? The first one was a bit too long but other than that I loved it. This was just torture to sit through. It started off OK but around the 40 minute mark I started checking my watch every 10 mins or so. :-/
Jul. 8th, 2006 05:53 am (UTC)
Aww, not a Depp fan?

Not so much, no. It's not really that I dislike him, per se, it's just that I don't really like him either. I think he's talented, sure, but he (and lots of the characters he plays) just don't do much for me. (And I certainly don't think he's the hottest thing ever like the rest of the world, lmfao.)

I saw the first one when it came out on DVD and was way less than impressed. Speaking of it, some of my (older, 60ish) co-workers and I were talking about it the other day, and they were all fawning over Depp like they were teenagers. It was pretty freakin' adorable, even if I don't agree, I must admit. LOL.

It started off OK but around the 40 minute mark I started checking my watch every 10 mins or so. :-/

That sucks. Even when movies are good, they're just TOO LONG these days. I usually start doing the watch-check because after 2-hours, I've gotta pee, like, whoa, lmfao. I remember thinking Walk the Line would NEVER end, and I actually loved it, heh.
Jul. 8th, 2006 06:05 am (UTC)
It's hard to get excited about an actor you're kind of 'meh' on, LOL. ;-) Same with reading fic. You just can't fake enthusiasm for characters/actors you don't even care about or find remotely hot. I love Johnny but not in everything. I wasn't about to see him as Willy Wonka because the trailers gave me the HJs. Plus, there's already a prefectly good Wonka movie!

Oh, I almost always have to get up to pee during a movie. And yes they ARE too long these days. After 2 hours, I went to the lobby to ask the staff how much of the damn movie was left because I really wanted to leave. They told me 45 minutes!!! I was like, 'Oh, I don't think I can make it,' but I went back inside anyway. And then it was more like 15 minutes, thank God. Movies shouldn't be torture to sit through!

I always love it when you get completely caught up and forget you *are* watching a movie. But that happens so rarely. Especially for us jaded, analytic types, LOL.
Jul. 8th, 2006 02:11 pm (UTC)
But tell me how you really felt about the movie.....

LOL! Not so good, eh? Well, I'm glad we didn't go last night. I shouldn't say that, we did manage to get to the theater but then realized that they were holding people in a cow pen until the movie actually started. *bleh* We just went out for drinks after seeing that.

The first POTC I actually saw for free (thanks to Entertainment Weekly and their free screenings!). I wasn't expecting much but it was half way decent. And you can't hate Johnny Depp for doing his best Keith Richards impersonation. :P
Jul. 8th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC)
Well, if I'd been told it wasn't very good beforehand, maybe that would have helped. It's always bad when you have your expectations dashed. I missed the fun of the first one. :-/ This one was just a series of set pieces, none of them particularly interesting or relevant! Norrington is fun all dirtied up and everyone looks good, but that's about it. If you know the ride, there's a few more homages thrown in and that was fun too. But again, not nearly enough to make up for that enormous running length!

I can't hate Johnny, no. But even he couldn't save this!
Jul. 8th, 2006 11:26 pm (UTC)
My husband took me and our daughter to the drive in to see Pirates last night. I thought it was meh.

I just hope that it's like a greek tradgedy, you know, where the first and third parts rock but the middle is just lame.

Oh, and Elizabeth and Jack's kiss? Hot. Until you realize she's screwing him over.
Jul. 8th, 2006 11:27 pm (UTC)

I swear, I do know how to spell tragedy.

Jul. 9th, 2006 05:57 am (UTC)
Could be that they're saving the good stuff for the third one, but this was so muddled and just kind of torture to sit through! For me, anyway.

And yes, I did like that kiss. I'm glad I stayed for that, at least! ;) I did like that she was capable of being so bloodthirsty. And, you know, Will left Jack to certain death in the first one, so he's not as noble as all that either, really, LOL>
Jul. 8th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
Um, I'm just going to trust your judgement here and wait for the DVD, since you tend to echo my thoughts on a lot of the same films. The first movie was so unbelievably good (the "zombies by moonlight" scene still gives me chills), and I'm afraid to see how they screw it up this time around. Just tell me there are some slash worthy moments. Anything ... hopefully involving Johnny Depp.
Jul. 9th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
Ahh. Well, maybe I've done you a service and just lowered your expectations. Mine were up there pretty high, alas. :-/ And other people seem to be enjoying it. Norrington is quite hot in it, but also, barely in it!

And OMG, the zombies by moonlight scenes, esp. the walk across the ocean floor, were some of my fave scenes as well! Made me feel like a kid again, just full of wonder and fun. But that's missing from this one. Davy Jones' crew got old so fast. Bring back the zombie pirates!! ;)

Jul. 10th, 2006 07:33 am (UTC)
I think I just have an issue with sequels -- they very rarely surpass the original (The Godfather Part 2, Terminator 2, Spiderman 2, and X2 are obvious exceptions), and more often than not make a mockery of what made the original good in the first place. Besides, I genuinely liked PotC and don't wanna disappoint myself with flash over substance, if that makes any sense.

Davy Jones? As in Davy Jones' locker? Oh god, please tell me they didn't rip off on the Jolly Roger. Man. Sometimes I hate Hollywood =\
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )


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