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Lost Riffs fic

So I wasn't planning on writing anything for this but then the prompt got me thinking. Here's a wee ficlet for lostsquee.

Lost riffs prompt: water, hands, music, green. Also using for fanfic100 prompt #78, "Where?"
Title: Underwater
Word count: 215
Pairing: Jack/Sawyer
Rating: PG




He knows the song, but he can’t quite place it. He wishes someone would turn up the volume because he thinks he knows the words. Or used to know them, once.

The music fades and there’s just the tickling sensation of water running over his body. He’s lying perfectly still, so it must be the water that’s moving. The water is cold but there’s a warmth in it... hands, rough to the touch but tender in their movement, brush over him. There’s a familiarity to them, but like the music, he can’t put a name to them.

When he opens his eyes, he sees only the dimmest green light, filtered and strange like he’s looking through water. He blinks. Everything is blurry. There’s someone sitting next to him, but he can’t make out the face. “Are we underwater?” his own voice sounds raspy, unused.

He’s met with a surprised laugh. “No, Sawyer. You’re safe.”

“Shit. Thought maybe you were a mermaid.” He sighs, not sure if he’s disappointed or relieved. Already his eyes are closing again. He has to remember to ask Jack about the song next time. He can’t remember it now anyway, not with the sound of Jack laughing over him.

He drifts off, half-certain it is the ocean he’s sinking under.

Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
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demonqueen666
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:05 am (UTC)
Oh, short but sweet! *applause*

Trust Sawyer to say something about mermaids, too.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
Thank you, hon! Even disoriented and feverish, Sawyer's still got that snark! ;)
deej240z
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Ooooo! This one painted a lovely picture. Nice imagery. I felt like I was right there watching. ;)
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 04:59 am (UTC)
Thank you! I guess I thought the world could stand one more Jack-nursing-Sawyer fic! ;)
foxxcub
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
Awww! ♥
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
♥ :-)
patch_tank
Jan. 31st, 2007 01:17 am (UTC)
That was brilliant! I love the mermaid comment. Great ficlet, and it goes so well with your icon!

-Patch
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you approve of Sawyer's mermaid delirium. ;)
gemjam
Jan. 31st, 2007 01:31 am (UTC)
I love this. It's so simple but it's so effective. Really nice job. Sawyer's fever making him feel like he's underwater and Jack being all sweet to him. *melts* I love the kind of fractured thoughts here as Sawyer drifts in and out of consciousness. So sweet.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:02 am (UTC)
Thank you! ;) I love seeing how you took the same prompt and did something completely different with it. "Water" and "hands" had to be something sensual and then "green" and "music" just suggested the rest of this to me, picturing the lighting there in the hatch, which, of course, has music! Very glad you liked it!
themoononastick
Jan. 31st, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
*applauds*
Brilliant! So wonderfully descriptive, I love it. :)
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:03 am (UTC)
Merci! *hugs and bows* I'm happy to be writing a Lost ficlet again. And for you to be doing so too! *throws confetti*
eponine119
Jan. 31st, 2007 03:41 am (UTC)
Love this! It's so short I can't even point to why, it just somehow feels right. Like Sawyer not recognizing the music, I guess.
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:04 am (UTC)
Thank you! :) I looked at that prompt and couldn't think of anything and then it suddenly added up to "Sawyer, delirious in the bunk bed" -- once again! Very glad you liked it.
jenthegypsy
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:05 am (UTC)
Lovely! An economical use of words packed with powerful imagery. I love the dreamy quality that this leaves me with. Excellent beginning to Riff week - we are all so lucky that you decided to play!
halfdutch
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:12 am (UTC)
Awww, thank you so much. *mwah* I thought my Jack/Sawyer muse was on permanent hiatus but it turns out it just needed a little break and a gentle nudge. :)
cmonkatiekatie
Jan. 31st, 2007 07:01 am (UTC)
Oooh, so hazy and beautiful! I love how each word from the prompt is like another step in him coming too. (And I love that Jack laughs at him!)
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, m'dear! :) Those prompts just suggested Sawyer, dazed and confused in the hatch. And with the gentle Jack mockery. ;)
(Deleted comment)
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Hee, I'm a sly dog, eh? Glad you liked it!
gottalovev
Jan. 31st, 2007 02:30 pm (UTC)
oh wow, I love it. coming to in the hatch sure would be disorienting, even more delirious like that. love how Jack reacts to the snark. very well done!
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Merci! I just pictured the hatch so clearly, with that murky green light, and voila! ;) Glad you liked.
astra2104
Jan. 31st, 2007 04:48 pm (UTC)
Ooohhh, nice. This ficlet makes me all nostalgic for the "Jack doctoring Sawyer" fics we had last year...

And such a lovely use of the prompts! ♥
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
Aww, it has been a while, hasn't it? :) I'm glad you enjoyed a blast from the past!
uhzoomzip
Jan. 31st, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
i love this so much! i'll never complain about the return to jack nursing sawyer, and this is such a rich "wee ficlet". beautifully crafted.



halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I have to admit, I still love that scenario, especially since we never got to see Sawyer wake up while Jack was there. *basks in wee ficlet love* :-)
hkath
Jan. 31st, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
Ooh, what an awesome little glimpse. I like the motifs it recalls from the show, and Sawyer still kidding around even though he's barely conscious <3
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
That's so Sawyer, isn't it? It was fun to return to the hatch of days of yore. Bunk bedds, we miss ya! :)
ladynutmeg
Feb. 1st, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)
This is dreamy and wonderful and just so fanfuckingtastic. The mermaid crack is wonderful and it's just... mmm, love it.
halfdutch
Feb. 1st, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Those prompts and the hatch just all added up to spell "underwater" for me, so a mermaid comment wasn't far behind. :)
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