Pairing: Jack/Sawyer with reference to Sawyer/Juliet
Summary: Jack misses doctoring Sawyer
Notes: Written in response to alliecat8's delightful crackfic Beached. And yes, this is also crack! :)
Word Count: Just over 1,000
Spoilers: Up through "Whatever Happened, Happened"
Jack looked out the window towards Sawyer's hut and heaved a deep sigh. He had to face facts: It had been days since they'd been back and Sawyer was just fine. No one had shot him or tortured him or stabbed him or even so much as given him a dirty look. It was a sobering truth but Jack finally had to admit to himself that his days of doctoring Sawyer were over.
He pretended to be happy scrubbing toilets and mopping up floors, but really he just tried to envision scenarios where someone would lay Sawyer out with a solid punch or a blow to the head, like in the good old days. Time was, you could count on Juliet to at least taser Sawyer but now that she was in love with the guy, well, she'd given all that up.
With Sawyer now calling himself "LaFleur" and commanding everyone's respect, he was no longer the island's punching bag. It was enough to make Jack cry. All those guns and tasers and tranquilizer darts right here and all going to waste!
Sawyer had even stopped walking around shirtless and that damned Dharma jumpsuit he always wore was nowhere near as flattering as a pair of well-worn jeans, the ones that sat low enough on Sawyer's ass to show off the dimples on his back. Jack sighed again. He wondered why he'd come back at all.
He'd secretly hoped, on his return, to find Sawyer being kept in a cage again. He cursed Kate for being lucky enough to be there to hold Sawyer gently and tend to his wounds after he'd been beaten bloody. He could go for some Sawyer cage sex, he really could, but no, he was operating on Ben then. Life just wasn't fair.
So when they asked him to save little Ben's life again, he flat out refused. If it had been Sawyer, he'd have been there in a flash, but no, Sayid had to go around shooting people he hated, instead of people he secretly had a crush on. Although.... Jack couldn't be sure that Sayid hadn't stabbed Sawyer during the heat of passion. Those two had looked pretty... inseparable just before Sayid drew his knife.
Saving Sawyer's life from the stab wound had been amazing -- Sawyer's life, in his hands! But unfortunately, he'd needed very little follow-up care. Even with Jack demanding that Sawyer come to him for his antibiotics, the situation sadly never escalated to anything even PG-rated.
He'd gotten his real chance with Sawyer after he'd been shot. He'd slaved over his feverish body day and night. Wiped him down with wet towels. Dabbed the sweat from his forehead. Tried to get him to eat mashed-up mango. Watched the sweet juice trickle down Sawyer's lips. It was Jack's idea of heaven.
Three years later and Sawyer was in better shape than he was. Jack thought of confiding in Sawyer, telling him all about his struggles with drugs, but then again, the man didn't have the same fetish Jack did, so what was the point?
He began to think that he'd have to beat up Sawyer himself to get a little action. Of course, now that Sawyer lived with his own doctor, he'd probably just have Juliet fix him up. Jack fumed at the thought: Even if he gave Sawyer the going-over he so richly deserved, it was Juliet who would wind up nursing him. Jack got hard imagining all the comfort sex that should rightfully be his. He'd spent months nursing Sawyer without even a simple, "Thanks, doc."
Things looked bleak indeed, but just then, Sawyer came hobbling across the courtyard. Jack watched him closely, hope rising in his chest (and, it must be admitted, in his pants) as Sawyer knocked on his door.
"What do you want?" he asked curtly, because that was the way the game was played.
"Kinda hurt myself," Sawyer winced. "Groin pull. Got anything for that?"
This was too good to be true, but Jack merely frowned. "Yeah, I can rub some ... uh, ointment on that. You'll feel much better."
Sawyer slowly followed Jack inside. Jack's excitement mounted as he ordered Sawyer to strip and sit on the bed. Shame Sawyer kept his boxers on. When did he even start wearing those? Must have been Juliet's idea. Jack tried to sound professional and detached as he examined Sawyer's groin. "Does it hurt here? How about here?"
"OW! Yes, there!" Sawyer shouted when Jack's fingers touched the site of the pull. "I told her that was physically impossible but no..."
Jack mmm-hmmmed noncommittally although his mind whirled to think of what kind of sexual acrobatics Sawyer and Juliet might have been trying to pull off. "So, why isn't Juliet helping you out on this?" he asked, trying to sound casual although his voice cracked like a thirteen-year-old's on the last word.
"Awww, she claims it's no big deal," Sawyer sighed as he laid back. He seemed to relax under Jack's magical touch. "Said I was bein' a baby. Can you believe that?"
"Well, I'm glad you came for a second opinion," Jack said, furrowing his brow. "This could be really serious, you know."
"Yeah, I know, Doc," Sawyer said with a dazzingly, dimpled grin and Jack felt almost dizzy to hear the old nickname fall from Sawyer's lips. The dizziness was followed by a rush of heat through his whole body as Sawyer continued: "You know, Juliet's good and all, but she's not quite as good as you, at certain things, anyway."
Jack's first instinct was to protest, to deny his doctoring prowess. But then he realized, dammit, Sawyer was right. He could bring a man back from the brink of death over and over. He could touch the sick and dying and they'd rise up, stronger than ever.
As he slowly, hypnotically rubbed the lotion into Sawyer's groin --- careful to avoid skimming his fingers over the slit of Sawyer's boxers more than absolutely necessary -- a new thought occurred to him. What if Sawyer had been injuring himself on purpose all this time? What if he'd put himself in harm's way, time after time, just to get Jack's attention?
As Sawyer groaned and stretched below him, Jack was sure that had to be it. Sawyer kept coming back to him because Jack was the best, the absolutely best doctor Sawyer had ever had.