halfdutch (halfdutch) wrote,

The Farther You Go, The Closer You Get

Title: The Farther You Go, The Closer You Get
Pairing: Sun/Frank
Rating: R
Note: For isis2015, who asked for Sun fics at the lostsquee luau. :)
Spoilers: General S5

She knows it's wrong, to lie here in Frank's arms, but there's really no right and wrong anymore.

Not when your husband has come back from the dead but he's still dead to you. She would have followed him to hell and that's just what she's done, in coming back to this place. But she can't follow him into the past.

She's come as far as she can and now she's stuck. It helps that she's not alone, that Frank is stuck here too. He wasn't looking for anyone, like she was, but they've found each other.

She likes to lie here and twine Frank's chest hair around her finger. He's ridiculously hairy, even for a white guy. She's fascinated by the play of white and black hairs on his chest, and his chin when he doesn't shave. He's not one of those people who seems to care that he's gone gray, that his belly isn't the flattest. He's so at-ease in his own skin, she can't help but breathe a little easier in hers. She thinks she craves that sense that is everything is okay even more than the sex. Here with him, she can forget, for a little while, that she may never see Jin again or Ji-Yeon.

Sometimes she pretends that Frank is the only man she's ever known, tells herself that his body inside her, on top of her, wipes out all traces of Jin. But sometimes it's the oppsoite: She hasn't slept with another man since Jin, so when Frank fucks her, it's the only way to get to Jin. It's more than closing her eyes and thinking of him. She can't convince herself it makes sense, but this is when she feels closest to Jin. It's almost if, by fucking another man, she can bring Jin back, that it's the only way. He'd forgive her, she knows.

And she doesn't know what else to do, not when Frank holds her so tight and tells her shes beautiful and that everything will be okay.
Tags: lost_fic, sun/frank

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