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Shoot First: Sawyer fic (PG)

Title: Shoot First
Spoilers: "Exodus, Part 2"
Rating: PG
Word count: 346 (Yes, really! Very short for me)
Feedback: Always welcome!
Note: Thanks to ficangel. She'll know why when she reads this.


Sawyer doesn’t even get a chance to fire.

He knows they can see him going for his gun, which he’d stupidly showed off with all that fool dancing around when he thought they’d been rescued.

Once he realizes his mistake, it’s too late. But he can’t let them just take the boy. His fingers close on the handle and even as he jerks the gun out, he’s hit.

When he hears the shot, the shot he’s expecting, it sounds more like a rifle blast. It tears into his shoulder and he falls.

He’s under the water, still thinking there’s something he can do. Except now it’s not the boy he has to save.

He’s lost the gun and he has to get it back or die trying.

If he’d gotten the chance, he could have gotten at least one of them. He’s been a good shot since he stole his first gun when he was 11. He practiced for hours, shooting at cans, bottles, rabbits, anything.

He was never without a gun after that. He’d sleep with it under his pillow, a hard little rock to anchor his dreams on.

There were nights he’d wake up, heart racing, surprised to find himself on top of the bed instead of under it.

In other dreams, he’d have the gun with him, running out of his room with it ready in his hand. He gets older in the dreams, but his mother doesn’t. But he never gets to her in time. He never gets the chance.

He’s under the water, flailing out for the gun, but it sank faster than the rudder.

His arm isn’t working suddenly and he’s being pulled down like something’s got ahold of him.

Light is dancing above him on the surface and he realizes the raft is in flames. But the light is so far above him now.

Water is rushing in his ears but he can’t hear anything. Not anyone screaming. Not the roar of the flames. Not the engine of the motorboat.

He waits for the sound of a second shot.

Comments

( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
eponine119
May. 28th, 2005 01:58 am (UTC)
Nice little character piece here. I like the theme you followed on Sawyer's history with guns, and how it kind of failed him. The details and description of being in the water give this story a chilling edge.
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 02:57 am (UTC)
Thanks! I was thinking of getting more into his whole history with guns and shooting people but then decided to keep it just to what I have here.





lillyjk
May. 28th, 2005 02:58 am (UTC)
love your icon~
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 03:10 am (UTC)
Thanks! It's by iamalreadyinuse. Go! Raid! Pillage!
lillyjk
May. 28th, 2005 02:57 am (UTC)
double ARGGGGHHHH
you and uberaeryn are killing me with the angsty death stuff. loved the story, but I NEED A HAPPY ENDING (or at least a valium)

Seriously, loved Sawyer's inner voice here, sounded very true to character. and again ARGGGGHHHH
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC)
Re: double ARGGGGHHHH
Oh, Sawyer's not dead! Here or on TV! Jin rescues him in about a minute. (huggles you)

Yeah, uberaeryn's fic KILLED me! I've killed Sawyer off a few times in fic and I always put myself through the grinder over it.
philomel
May. 28th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC)
O__O

Meep. *is scared now* Sawyerrrrr!


Seriously though. That was gorgeously written. So stark and lyrical.
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 05:33 am (UTC)
Oh, THANK YOU so much for the lovely, lovely fb.

I wasn't really in a happy place when I wrote it so someone else has to write the Saving Sawyer fic! I can sense one getting written right now!

And then we can all breathe a little easier, maybe.
foxxcub
May. 28th, 2005 07:25 am (UTC)
While I love this and wish it were a tad longer, I just thought I'd drop in before bed and tell you simply....


<3

halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 07:37 am (UTC)
Awwww, THANK YOU! (does a crazed, Tom Cruise kind of happy dance)

Longer, eh? Don't encourage me!
foxxcub
May. 28th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC)
*pokes*

makeitlonger
julissak01
May. 28th, 2005 09:18 am (UTC)
Like somebody already said before me, that was a V V nice character piece.

If he’d gotten the chance, he could have gotten at least one of them. He’s been a good shot since he stole his first gun when he was 11. He practiced for hours, shooting at cans, bottles, rabbits, anything.

He was never without a gun after that. He’d sleep with it under his pillow, a hard little rock to anchor his dreams on.


You and Sawyer? No need to get into that, but I got your number.

In other dreams, he’d have the gun with him, running out of his room with it ready in his hand. He gets older in the dreams, but his mother doesn’t. But he never gets to her in time. He never gets the chance.

Again, I say, do not front on this shit.

He waits for the sound of a second shot.

You own him.

Oddly enough, I think this works in a way that most corny character pieces don't. Because, this? Is Sawyer. Deep enough to know he's got his own little secrets, and hard enough to be able to feel that the layers are there for a reason.

(Sorry to go all paste-happy on you, but I haven't been inspired to do that in such a long time! This made me happy.) ;)
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you, doll!! (smooch)

You own him.

I WISH! Thank you so much for saying so. I do love me some Sawyer. And the angst, of course! I love how he's been, for want of a better word, thawing a litle on the show, but he still has so far to go. (Yes, I have no worries that he'll be back!)

I'm glad Sawyer angst can bring happiness.;-D



ficangel
May. 28th, 2005 03:45 pm (UTC)
*sits down and cries* This didn't have a single wasted word.
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
(hands you tissue)

Thank you! I wanted to go for something short and simple. I'm glad you liked it.
crystalkirk
May. 28th, 2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
*sniffles*

Poor Sawyer and his happy, happy, joy, joy dance of doom.

This was so, so sad - and completely beautiful. Great job, as per usual. :)
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much. (hugs)

For me, the finale all boils down to that moment on the raft - (well, *all* the moments on the raft, with the singing and stuff ;-D) - but the moment where they realize this *isn't* a rescue but the very thing they thought they were fleeing. (shivers)

October, hurry up!





imaginaryshapes
May. 28th, 2005 04:55 pm (UTC)
Wow. How gorgeous was this fic? You got all of his emotions across in really choice wording (did that sentence make any sense at all? Uh. *facepalm*)

Great job :)
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you (blush). So sweet of you to say so!
kho
May. 28th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC)
Oh this fic is depressing. I happen to have a soft spot for depressing fics though, so... yay! LOL. And nooooo, nooo, Sawyer can't drown!!! Jin will save you, Sawyer! Oh, I just can't stand the thought that Sawyer might not survive. It kills me to think he might die. This fic didn't do anything to help assuage those fears, I gotta say. Which is just a testament to your great writing.

Favorite line? He waits for the sound of a second shot.. It's just such a chilling last line. Such a finality to it.

Lovely fic.
halfdutch
May. 28th, 2005 08:15 pm (UTC)
Yes, Jin will save him! (nods)

Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it!

Sawyer angst is my crack, sigh.
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )

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